Why I Don’t Think You Should Focus on Self Care

There is much talk right now about self care amongst the women I know.   So much focus on taking better care of ourselves and classes popping up all over the place to help bring about more self care.

Well, I think that self care is the wrong thing to focus on!

Which might make you mad, me saying that, but stick with me here.  I’ve been thinking about this alot and I think it’s important for us to talk about.

I know, for me, that I tend to focus on self care when I’m not feeling so great – physically or mentally.  Either really sluggish and tired or not connected and overwhelmed.

I’ll get worried that I’m not taking care of myself and because I’m not, that is why things aren’t working in my life.   So I start to put more attention on things like eating well, getting outside, having alone time, etc.

And it sort of helps.  Sort of.  Sometimes.

Sometimes I do start to feel better.  More grounded and focused and energetic.

But, sometimes I get so super focused on getting self care stuff “in” that it makes me feel worse. 

I’m sure this has happened to you – you convince yourself that when you start that yoga practice back up, or if you go to bed early, or if you drink a green smoothie everyday that you will feel good again – happy and fulfilled.

But, being happy is conditional on you getting that self care stuff in, which is easier said than done.  It’s so easy to FAIL, especially if it’s a brand new habit you’re trying to begin.

And that pressure to get it right, to get the new habit in, to be perfect with your self care can actually do damage to our well being.  One more thing to be perfect at…  GAH!

I have come to the conclusion that focusing on self care is not what makes the biggest difference in us being happy, fulfilled, energetic and feeling good about ourselves and our lives.

What does make the biggest difference?

Having a big, inspiring VISION for your life and working hard to make that vision a reality.

Don’t get me wrong, we still need to take care of ourselves.  But FOCUSING on self care, as if doing so is what’s going to make a difference is a mistake.

Instead, focus on the difference you want to make, the impact your life will have on the world, how you can help make life better for everyone around you.

Focus on your VISION and what you want your life to be about – the big picture stuff. 

That is what will make you come alive, feel empowered, want to get up out of bed and get stuff done.

And, working on a powerful vision for your life will probably help you to take better care of yourself.

When I am engrossed in making big stuff happen, when my life is about vision and purpose and I’m working on making an impact, I instinctually take better care of myself.  I have to.  My vision depends on it.  I can’t make the difference I want to make if I’m tired and dragging my feet.

But, I don’t FOCUS on self care.  It just is.  Like brushing my teeth. It’s just what I do so that I can be as awesome as I want to be!

My focus is on my VISION! 

And yes, sometimes I stay up too late, or drink a few too many beers or eat bad food or whatever.  But, doing so doesn’t send me down a spiral of “I should be taking better care of myself, if only I did then I could do so much, what is wrong with me.. .etc..”

I really believe that if all you have to worry about is your self care then you aren’t playing a big enough game with your life.   Have your self care be in service of something BIGGER.  Have it matter and make an impact in the world.

That is what will make you feel happy and fulfilled.  Focusing on your vision.  Doing so will probably help you take care better care of yourself, too.  :)



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