I have been talking about who YOU are and what do you want for your life.
Today, I want to talk about who you are – for your kids.
I think this is an important aspect of us living our dreams. Why? Because we are moms. Because we love our children so much. Because our kids are a huge part of our lives and who we are. We want them to grow up happy and fulfilled. We want them to love their lives and pursue their own dreams.
My son just turned 5. We’ve made the choice to homeschool our children and his turning 5 has had me start to think a bit more about what we should be doing on the education front. He is officially “ready” to start kindergarten this year. So, what does that mean for us?
Immediately, my husband and I started talking about all the things we could sign him up for. Baseball? Piano? Hockey? Karate? Dance? What would be THE BEST thing for him right now?
And then, watching him play, I realized – none of that.
He is totally happy and content – just playing. Today he built a train track that goes through every room of the house using every single pillow and cushion that we own. A whole, fascinating world has taken over our lives with the building of this track. Stories have been told full of adventure and love and magic (oh, and bad guys!).
His mind is WIDE OPEN. He is alive. He is thriving!
All the other stuff, the classes and the worrying and the feeling like we should be doing more. That’s all our stuff. I want him to be creative so I feel like he should start learning music. Don loves sports, so naturally we should sign him up for baseball or hockey, which by the way, are Don’s favorite sports.
But, what does my son want? He wants to play! So that is what I am going to give him.
Who I am for my children is that they get to be whoever they want to be. They get to live their own lives. They are their own person.
It’s tough sometimes being this for my kids. I have to remember that it is their life, not mine. The time will come when my children will want to learn something and request to be enrolled in a class of some sort. Not because we want them to do it, but because they want to.
Until then, I am working on letting go of all the “should’s” and listening to where they are at right now. And honoring that.
So, who are YOU for your children? What do you wish for them? And, is there anything you have to let go to let them be who THEY ARE?
Great post, I think about this often, and especially this week as my 3.5 year old just started preschool for two days a week. He loves it and is excited to be around other kids to play. However, we went into it with the agreement that if he didn’t love it we’d stop going. Same goes for all activities. I think it is my job to expose him to options and let him lead the way.
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Lisa Delzer Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 3:56 pm
It can be a fine line sometimes, giving them opportunities that WE want vs. what THEY want.. But it sure is fun cruising along and seeing where they lead us!
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Wow, this is really food for thought! Something I will be giving a whole lot more thought to. When T turned 3 I went into panic mode and put him in every class I could find. Swimming, Gymnastics, Dance, and the list of places that wouldn’t take him because of his age went ever further…horse back riding, music, karate. Swimming lessons were horrible! His love of water is now a huge fear. He loved gymnastics but REFUSED to participate at dance. Talk about OVER load. I just wanted him to be up with his peers and be ready for life…What? He is THREE! I started reading some Waldorf material, and while I don’t fit the mold for a lot of the Waldorf stuff, I found their thoughts on letting children just simply be children to be pro-founding and such a relief. Someone finally was telling me its OK not to put your child into all these things, in fact its best not to at this age. What a breath of fresh air. Since then we stay home more we play more and we just let our son BE more.
I am about to start taking classes at night, while he is sleeping. I will be following a passion of mine and he gets to see that and be involved in that. I hope I am teaching him that you are never to old to stop learning and following your dreams and interests. I hope he is impacted by this.
My main wish for him is peace of mind and contentment in his heart for his whole life!
I do need to work on letting him experience things with less input from me. I am certainly an over protective mama, I do it out of love but I need to back off a little more… Now off to ponder your question more! Who am I for my son???
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I’m a bit late on this post
as I just found your site today. This really resonated with me, as our son is 4 1/2 and we also plan to homeschool. We’ve been doing “nothing and everything” since he was born, and I don’t see that changing when we get to the Magical Number 5. I do fret, however, and spend lots of precious minutes (precious, because he is only 4 1/2 for a bit longer, and because what he’s doing NOW is so interesting!) wondering about curriculum, if Unschooling fits, what class to sign him up for…
Meanwhile, he’s spending the day fishing With His Bare Hands or making up games for his little sister or listening to old records. What a jewel. And to think, I could go screw it all up by wanting him to Learn Stuff. Thanks for the great post (ahem. Back in January).
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Lisa Work-Delzer Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 6:53 am
Yay! So glad you found us! Yes, it is so very, very easy to get sucked into all the hype that we have so much we should be doing for our kids right now!! But, I think it it always better when we go with the flow of what THEY want and need vs. doing what the world says we should be doing..
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