An Interview with Melisa Nielsen
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This week we get the opportunity to hear from Melisa Nielsen from A Little Garden Flower & Waldorf Essentials. I have known Melisa for a while now and one of the things I love about her is her clarity of vision. She has something she wants to contribute to people, she has things she has to say and she says those things in a way that matters and makes a difference. Whether or not you are into homeschooling or the Waldorf philosophy, there is a lot to learn from Melisa about who she is about the things she believes in.
Ready?
First off, why don’t you tell us a little about you and your family.
I am wife to Erik, a mom of 4 – awesome, rowdy kids, boy, boy, girl, boy. We live in south east Idaho in the shadow of the Teton mountains. Erik is my second husband, we are a blended family. More than blended… our tree is mended. We run our business from home and all six of us are together all day, everyday. We love it.
What would you say your big dream is?
To help families reach their greatest potential – being whole, being on the same page, being happy.
I am amazed by how you juggle being a mom, homeschooling, and running your business. How do you do it all?
There is no way I could do what I do without the support of my family. My children are great, they often help pack and ship orders – we live in a very small town of 1200 people so our post office is within biking distance, they run errands for us. Also, I couldn’t do my end of the business without Erik. I rise each morning between 4 and 6am and that means I have to get in bed on time and stay healthy. Erik is a huge supporter of those things. We each have a strong commitment to our family – neither of us could imagine it any other way.
What do you do to nurture yourself?
Meditate…shop for yarn or fabric… eat cheesecake… bake… handwork. So many things. I think that is the key really – have many things that make you happy then squeeze them in where you can. For each mom those things will be different.
You are a really inspiring speaker and writer, have you always wanted to guide and help people?
LOL! Thank you. My mom used to tell me all the time that I talked far too much – I do, lol. In fact I am constantly working on being silent more. But yes, I have always wanted to help. I was a lactation consultant for a long time, worked in the midwifery field a bit and when my children were on their way in homeschooling, I realized there was a need for more moms to understand Steiner. My consulting really started there. Our Beacon program was born from seeing a need to have realistic, workable, meditative practices that moms can put into practice each day.
Tell us more about your Beacon Program.
Well if you are a mom then the Beacon is YOU! The Beacon program is a targeted inner work and self healing program designed just for moms of all ages, all faiths and all places on their journey.
This program was a long time in the making. For the last twenty years, I was on a spiritual quest, I changed religions, changed who and what my vision of Source or God was and along the way, what I realized is that there were some wonderful healing programs and powerful spiritual mentors, but no one that talked to me in my unique position as MOM.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A lawyer. I started out in the political science program at the University of Utah a million years ago. Pre-law frustrated me. I saw a legal system that was broken and I wanted a family, lol… I worried I would not have the energy to grow a strong family AND fix the legal system. I chose to make a difference at home first.
How does that compare with your real life now?
It actually compares really well – my instinct in law was to help people – I get to enjoy that now. Paychecks of the heart far outweigh the money. I really enjoy what I do – I love my family and I love our business.
Are there things that you let yourself neglect to make sure you are spending time doing things that you love and that nurture you.
LOL yes. The dusting. My house is clean but don’t run your fingers along all the surfaces, lol… dusting is my least favorite chore.
When you are really in the zone, being productive, writing and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
Well it changes as the children have gotten older. Right now, Mondays are my all day work day. I start before 5am with a cup of tea and then head down to my office. My office is a small room off our laundry room that has space for our inventory right there so I can keep an eye on things. I start each day with a prayer of thanksgiving. When I get settled in the office, I look at my to do list and then begin my meditation. For me that can mean, reading something inspirational, guided visualization, deep prayful meditation – it really depends on what I am needing that day. After about 30 minutes (sometimes longer) I get started. Monday tends to be really productive and I don’t leave the office until dinner. On Mondays Daddy is in charge of children and food prep, they all work together. The rest of my week tends to be more relaxed – one long day takes care of a lot. The other days, I get up at 4 or 5am, work until 8am then get everyone else up for school. I work in the office a couple afternoons a week, depending on need. Kids jump in and help and that is a lot of fun.
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom, or like things have moved to the backburner?
No. I actually think becoming a mother helped me to realize dreams that I didn’t know I had. If I want to do something, I always find a way. That is just me.
What do you wish you had more time for?
Handwork. I love handwork. knitting, crochet, sewing, embroidery… you name it, lol. Reading… I do a TON of reading for our work or for inner work and for that I am really thankful… getting through a novel would be nice now and then.
How do you squeeze in time for yourself, when you have other obligations?
Erik helps me. We help each other. I am committed to his inner work and he is to mine. We just make it work.
How do you connect with your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
After I get a good sleep (this is key!) I will often take a day off… find ways for the kids to be happy in what they are doing and just let them play around me. Some of my favorite days are when we play hooky and I take a handwork project to the park. Erik takes a book. We can sit with a picnic lunch and enjoy nature while the kids run around us and play. I try to always keep ahead of where I need to be – I don’t remember the last time I was too worn out to do what I wanted – I just don’t let myself get that down. When I need a down day, I take it. We have to. We have to show our children that life is going to take us if we are not in charge. I have to be willing to make life happen -otherwise… why am I here?
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family?
I think when the older ones were younger I may have more… as I have matured as a mother, I have realized that time away rejuvenates me – it gives me extra energy for them. It is a good thing.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as a woman?
Prayer. I would be nothing without my connection to God.
What gives you hope and inspiration?
Again, prayer. When I am low, I pray. When I am high, I pray. When I need help, I pray. When I am thankful, I pray. My best inspiration always come through prayer and meditation.
What do you see for yourself in this next year with regards to your business and being a mom?
Good question! Business… growing! I am so excited at where we are going. We have so many wonderful things to share – I could write everyday for the next 6 months and not get it all out! But that is ok, one step at a time. In a time when many other businesses are getting smaller, we are growing. We grew 300% in 2009. My bet is we will be close to that in 2010.
My family… well… hard to tell. Not sure if that will do any growing, lol… we keep saying we are done but I am always open to promptings from the Spirit. I know the rest of 2010 will bring fun family trips and exciting lazy summer days. And yarn shopping. Lots of yarn shopping.
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
My biggest hopes are that our children grow up happy. I already know they are healthy, lol… but happy is what is really important to me. We work a lot on being strong together – standing firm in who we are and loving one another. We would also love to see the world together. We have explored much of our nation, now we are ready for the world.
How does you writing and running your own business help make those dreams come true?
Well we dream big! We hope to see our business grow enough to allow us to travel more.
Thank you so much, Melisa! Your passion and deep commitment to what you do is always a real inspiration. Thanks for taking a little time to share with us about your life and who you are.
The Nielsens are a crazy, fun bunch. Nearly three years ago, Erik left his job as a newspaper reporter to work with me. We write Waldorf curriculum and we work with homeschooling families. I also work with women through our inner work program, Be A Beacon, helping women to see their full potential and be all they can for themselves and their families. We love what we do.
An Interview with Danielle LaPorte
Oh boy! This week we get to hear from Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth. If you do not know who this amazing woman is, you need to know her! Seriously. I visit her blog every day for some of the most insightful, magical, kick butt inspiration. I asked her if she would answer a few questions for us and when she said yes, I about fell out of my chair. Read on.. you are in for a treat!
Hi Danielle. Please, tell us about you, your family, your dreams, and your passions:
My son is 6, mystical, tender, mighty. He likes to snuggle, collect bugs, draw birds, and make fart jokes. When he was born I decided that I better really up my game, and I committed to living my life more artistically and boldly because of him. I thought, “If I’m going to teach this kid to live in integrity, I need to go after my passions with abandon.” My passion?: Evoking the truth. Broadcasting my love as far and wide as possible.
What is the best advice you have for us moms who also have big dreams?
- Balance is a myth. Fuhgetaboutit. Go for passion and proportion.
- Get an advisory board: coaches, smart girlfriends, a spiritual counselor, astrologer…whoever it takes to keep you thinking higher and deeper and staying true to your ambitions.
- Starting is way more fun than not starting, Just start.
What does a super productive, fully living your dreams + taking care of your family day look like?
Walk three blocks to school. Race home with the dog. Write. Write. Write. Tweet. Strategize. Stress about what to cook. Decide it’s a good night for pizza. Squeeze in another chapter or jam with one more client. If the man is home, I keep writing. (see a pattern here?) or I race to the monkey’s school. Home + kid time = lot’s of drawing, kitchen disco and cuddling to movies. After bedtime, it’s like starting another day. And I…yep…write some more.
All of this is interspersed with beaches, parks, and impromtu getaways. And bubble baths.
What is the hardest thing you deal with about being a mom and being someone who is living life is such a powerful way?
It just occurred to me when I read this question that I’m not the only one in the house living in a powerful way! The Monkey Boy is a force of nature and he finds ways to get his needs met even if I’m distracted.
My kid watches more movies than I thought I would allow for. “Mama needs to get my book to the graphic designer, so how about some Monster’s Inc.?” But, all in all, I think my son is a great match for me, and I for him. He gets his wonder, esoteric, fantasy quotient filled. We have lots of little adventures. My time is packed, but it’s all mine and that means I have the freedom for surprise escapes and meandering. And those moments make all the difference.
Any thoughts you can share about the importance of us moms going after our dreams?
Mothers are amazing, aren’t we? Even if you think you’re sucking at the motherhood thing–you’re probably pretty amazing. Advice? Be full. Let the dishes pile up. Socks don’t need to match. Listen to your heart and then you’ll be able to listen to your child. Share your dreams with your kid. They need to hear us dreaming and feeling our way into our own potential. They need to know that we’re Goddesses and mavericks and works in progress. Just like they know we are.
WOW!! These words are gold. Pure, amazing truth. Thank you so much Danielle for sharing a little glimpse into your life and how it is you make your magic happen.
Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.” An inspirational speaker and business strategist, and former think tank exec, Danielle’s new digital book, THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS helps entrepreneurs rock their career with integrity, audacity and their truest strengths.
You can find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte
An Interview with Eren Hays San Pedro
This week’s interview with an inspiring mama is with Eren Hays San Pedro, author of the amazing blog Vintage Chica. This interview had me sobbing while reading it. I am just so moved by who Eren is, what she is doing to make a difference in the world and her perspective of how us mamas can help others. I hope this interview inspires you as well and motivates you to get out there and do something that makes a difference in the world!
Hi Eren, why don’t you tell us a little about you and your family.
Well, I am a mother to three little boys. Ian and Zane are twins and are 7 and my little one is Wyatt and he just turned 5. I am a military wife to my husband who is currently on active duty with the U.S. Navy. Oh, and we have a dog named Scout and a very bad cat named Reggie.
What would you say your big dream is?
My big dream is to raise compassionate, caring boys into men who care about the world around them and know they have the power to make an impact.
We would love to buy an RV and visit each of the 48 contiguous states, then the other two by plane or boat.
But even bigger than that would be to bring the plight of the poor and forgotten children of the world into clearer view.
Once we know a problem exists, we can begin to fix it.
Have you always wanted to make a difference?
The women in my family have all been amazing role models of women involved and making a difference in their communities. So, it was natural for me to follow suit.
Back in the 1980’s, I watched as the world began to wake up to the tragedy in Ethiopia. I remember Sally Struthers on the Feed the Children Telethons. Michael Jackson organized We Are the World and I remember wondering why we had so much in this country and others had so little.
As I got older, I idolized Madeline Albright and wanted to work for the U.N. or become an ambassador. But inevitably “life” happened. I got married, I became a mom and decided to stay at home with my boys. I began to think, that maybe those lofty ideas were just too far out of reach. I settled on the idea that maybe the dreams I had were not really for me – that maybe my purpose was to raise them to make differences in the world.
You are doing some amazing work in Nicaragua. How did that come about? What gave you the courage to do it?
In 2004, while volunteering with our church youth group, an opportunity to travel to Nicaragua to work with orphanage children was put in front of me. Luckily, I am married to a really great guy who pushes me out of my comfort zone all the time. He encourages me to do all sorts of things (like learning to surf and experiment in cooking). He told me I needed to go. After much thought and prayer, I did.
Luckily my mother-in-law was able to come watch the boys. I was actually pregnant with my third child while I was there, but did not know it yet.
That trip changed my life and the lives of my children as well.
I am a better person and in turn a better mama for going to Nicaragua.
Tell us more about about the work that you do in Nicaragua.
I have now traveled to Nicaragua four times with an amazing organization called ORPHANetwork. We work directly with an orphanage outside of Managua called Casa Berbabe. We also assist ORPHANetwork in supporting other orphanages and two feeding centers in Nueva Vida and La Chureca.
You can read more about why Nicaragua children need our help here.
Last summer, with the wonderful help of Craft Hope, I was able to deliver over 400 handmade cloth dolls to children at Casa Bernabe and three other locations.
In January, I co-lead an all women’s trip where we poured into the girls at the orphanage by providing training, medical checkups and lots and lots of fun activities.
Not only do we do work projects and provide funding, but the most important part of what we do is to develop relationships with these children. These kiddos do not have parents (or their parental situations are not good). And I am a mother…a good one. I don’t pretend to be these children’s mother for the week, but more of a mentor or older sister.
So when I am in Nicaragua, I tell these kids the same things I tell my own children. “You are amazing. You can do anything you put your mind to. Do you know how beautiful you are? Keep up your grades. You have special gifts that the world needs to know about. Be honest. Don’t let life get you down. I traveled all the way from the US to see you. I care about you. I love you.”
I am proud to say I have friends in Nicaragua…Rina, Jose, Carlos, Eddie, Eveling.
Do your children go with you?
No, not yet…but they will. My husband’s schedule is a bit unpredictable, so it has not worked out for all of us to go at the same time, but we can’t wait for the day we will all be able to go together.
Watching children from different parts of the globe connect is an amazing thing. They don’t let language or culture get in the way of making a friend. If you can kick a ball, you are my friend.
My boys know about the children in Nicaragua and have even met a few of them through skype. We send letters and pictures back and forth.
Seeing my own children play with the kids I have come to love at Casa Bernabe would indeed be a dream come true.
What do your children think of their mom traveling across the world to make a difference?
I don’t know…let’s ask them.
Zane: “I think it is good. She helps kids that don’t have families.”
Ian: “I miss her when she is gone, but it isn’t that long. The people there need to know that we care about them.”
Wyatt: “I like it because Fia (my MIL) comes to stay with us and she gives us treats”.
There you have it!
So cute! What did you want to be “when you grew up?”
Oh, lots of things…When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher, an auctioneer, a veterinarian, a truck driver, a lawyer, a marine biologist, a writer.
How does that compare with your real life now?
Really, it is pretty close when you look closely at my life today…I write a blog, I teach my boys, I explore the beach almost every weekend, I still have a love of antiques and vintage items, etc.
My life looks much different than I could have ever imagined or planned. But all of my interests are still reflected in my life in some way today.
I love how you make time to help others, are super crafty and take care of your little ones, and you do all of that while your husband is away. How do you manage it all?
He, he…I don’t manage it all. There’s no way to do it all.
Some days the laundry doesn’t get put away.
I only do dishes in the evening after dinner, so if you come by my house a noon, the breakfast dishes will still be in the sink. But there will be flowers on the table and something coming out of the oven, which means more to me than laundry anyway.
I write a lot after my boys go to bed.
I work on projects that I can generally finish fairly quickly.
And I am surrounded by a wonderfully supportive community of friends.
It’s a constant balancing act and I find myself always on one side of the line or the other.
But I want to share one thing that I think is important for (especially) mothers to remember. Just because a blog shows pretty pictures of smiling kiddos in cute handmade clothing sitting on a family quilt with a neatly planted garden in the background that there might be pile of laundry sitting on the couch inside. Because that is what it looks like at my house. My blog is a place where I choose to focus on the beauty and the awe I experience in the world around me. We have plenty of meltdowns and frustrations. But by making an intentional choice to see the small pleasures in my day, I am a happier person and a better mama. I would encourage anyone to do the same.
What things do you let yourself neglect to make sure you are spending time doing the “fun stuff” that nourishes your own creativity?
I cut corners in lots of areas.
I clean my house only when it gets dirty. I don’t make our beds, we’re lucky if the covers get pulled back up over the sheets.
I let the boys pick out their own clothes…which can get interesting at times. And has resulted in my boys not wearing pajamas. After evening bath time, they put on the clothes that they will be wearing to school in the morning. I thought it was just a phase, but it took.
I wear jeans almost every day and mostly wear black shoes…except I do have one pair of vintage red wedges that were given to me and are now my sassy shoes.
Oh, and we don’t watch T.V.
When you are really in the zone, being productive, and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
He, he…If I were doing all the things I wanted to do, I’d be at the beach all day scavenging and exploring.
This is a tough one…I stared to answer it, but then realized there isn’t really ever a day Im doing everything I want to do. I always have way too many things I want to do and never enough hours in the day to do them all.
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom, or like things have moved to the backburner, so to speak?
Absolutely. My former career is non existent. And yes, there are parts of me I feel I have neglected…like getting my hair colored. I think most mothers feel this way. But there is amazing personal growth that comes from such selflessness.
How do you feel about that?
Really and truly, it is a gift.
Motherhood was a difficult transition for me.
I fought giving up my own plans for my life every step of the way.
The true gift comes once you get over your former life and hand it all over to something bigger than yourself. Once you realize you are not in control, your REAL life…your authentic life…begins to blossom. Motherhood is really not about you and your children, it is about moving one step closer to becoming the person you were created to be. I am still figuring it all out, but I owe a huge piece of that knowledge to my children.
What do you wish you had more time for?
There are lots of silly things I wish I had more time for. I wish there was more time to follow up on every “Why” question my boys ask. And more time to sit and wait while they take 22 minutes to tie their shoe. I wish I had more time to learn to play the guitar. I wish I had more time to follow through on every crafty idea that pops into my head.
But seriously, I wish there was more time to spend with my husband. Because I really believe that one of the best gifts we can give my boys is two parents who love each other. Finding the time to connect with each other is the most difficult thing for me.
How do you tap into your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
I get outside and into nature! Even if I take the kids with me, I always come back home feeling inspired and more energized after going for a walk in the woods or to the beach.
And if I can’t do that, I grab a decorating magazine or browse the design blogs. My mind immediately gets pumped up and I have to jump up and get back to work.
And if it is a particularly rough day I read a journal entry from one of my trips to Nicaragua that is taped to the inside of my closet door.
It was the last day of our trip and one of the other women and I ran up to the main orphanage to put all clean new sheets on the little girls’ beds before we left. She and I flew through making 22 beds in no time flat. And with big grins on our faces thinking about how they would feel when they came back from school that day to new pink and purple sheets on their beds. My friend commented on how fun it was to make those beds and how she wished she could change her own kids’ sheets with the same joy. That notion has stuck with me. It was a joy to do such a mundane task for the kids at Casa Bernabe and it should be no different for my own boys. It is a joy to be apart of the lives of such great kids…even if I am changing sheets.
I know it sounds hokey, but that thought has always stuck with me.
Not hokey at all. I think that is THE KEY to finding peace as a mom. Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family?
Nor for a second.
First of all, I don’t get much time away from my family. Time away is a luxury.
And maybe if I were spending a lot of time sitting in the sun in Cabo I would feel bad, but most of my “time away” is in service others. I will never feel bad about taking a week to speak words of encouragement to the people who are working so hard to change the lives of children.
And here is the honest truth. I think as mothers we are “called” to help in this way. Who is more perfectly suited to encourage these children and their caregivers than those of us who make an art of motherhood everyday? And as a Christian mother I am called to model a life of service for my boys. There is not a better way to learn compassion than watching it in acted out in front of you.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as a woman?
This is the million dollar question, isn’t it? Whether we work or stay at home, whether we home-school or send our children to pubic school, whether we share a family bed or not, all mamas struggle with balance. I find that if I listen to myself, my body, my own words I can tell when I’m getting out of balance. I’m feeling pulled one way or another too much. But schedules get crazy and little boys are pretty loud. So sometimes I can’t even hear myself think…literally.
So the only way to find balance is to build quiet time into my day. Making time to be with my own thoughts and emotions is the only way I know what I am really feeling. I get up earlier than the rest of my family. I recently began running again. I write. Every week or so the dog and I take a walk on the beach. Of course, I don’t get all of this alone time into one day and I am not as consistent as I would like. But I am much better about this than I used to be.
What gives you hope and inspiration?
My children give me hope.
The rhythm of the natural world gives me hope.
My faith in God gives me hope.
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
My biggest dream for my family is that we would be able to take a year off, travel to Nicaragua and spend the time devoted to the children there.
How does you expressing your self and being creative help make those dreams come true?
Taking photos, sewing, playing in the clay with my boys, walking on the beach all helps me remember who I was created to be. It helps keep me connected to the person God created in me and to my purpose here on this Earth.
Anything else you want to tell us?
I think we all make up excuses for why we can’t take this action or that. We see others making an impact in their world and don’t think we are capable. Especially busy mamas like us. But we are in fact the very people that MUST get out of our comfort zones and get into the world. It is not only our duty to the world, but to ourselves.
Start small. Make a meal for someone. Make a phone call. Write a letter. Smile. You never know where it might take you. You might end up half way across the world.
WOW! Such great advice and so true, I think. Thank you so much, Eren, for taking the time to talk with us. I am really inspired by your words. They hit home for me, as someone who is always wanting to help and make a difference. I know I will be taking your advice to heart.
An Interview with Carmen Torbus
Today, I get to share with you the interview I did with Carmen Torbus. I have just recently met Carmen, but when visiting her website, I feel like I have found a soul sister in what I am working on here at Visionary Mom. She is ALL about supporting and empowering us to live creative, passionate lives.
Read on…
Thank you, Carmen, for taking the time to chat with us. Why don’t you tell us a little about you and your family.
I’ve been married to my husband, Dan for almost 11 years. Our daughter Morgan is 8 and our son, Colin is almost 7. We live in South Florida. I hold a lot of titles, but the ones I get most excited about are Bliss Follower, Big Dreamer, Mess Maker, Cheerleader for Creative Entrepreneurs and Lover of the Words, “I’m so inspired right now!”
What would you say your big dream is?
Turning my passion for inspiration, creativity and encouragement into a career as a professional cheerleader (for creative entrepreneurs).
You are working on a book right now. What can you tell us about it?
It’s an art book about developing signature style. It’s so neat to see the way different artists use materials and supplies and create a style all their own. My book takes a look at some techniques from some of my favorite artists with distinctive style and teaches those techniques to the reader.
Have you always wanted to be an artist?
No, I’ve always wanted to be a cheerleader. I had no idea I would ever become an artist. In fact, I discovered Mixed Media Art in early 2008 by complete chance when I picked up a copy of Artful Blogging magazine at the bookstore one day. I was drawn in immediately and haven’t turned back! It was such an honor to come full circle and have my blog featured in that very magazine this past October!
That is really inspiring! So, what did you want to be “when you grew up?”
A cheerleader.
How does that compare with your real life now?
It’s funny because although cheerleading was what I always wanted to do when I grew up, once I got past a certain age, I thought the dream was lost. And I never really went looking for it for the last 15 years or so.
The last few months I’ve been doing some soul searching and I’ve realized that even though I’m a 30 something mom… I still want to be a cheerleader when I grow up. And that’s what I intend to do. The difference is that now I get to cheer for other creative entrepreneurs and women like me who could use some support, enthusiasm and encouragement!
I love the creative space you create around you. Have you always been creative? Share with us how you got to where you are now.
Thank you! I’ve always been creative, but never like I am now. I’ve always felt as if something was missing and freely expressing my creativity was definitely part of it. I’ve really only been focused on leading a creative life for the past 2 years, so this is something that I’ve committed to after kids.
One of the biggest challenges I encounter is time. There seems to be so little! I work full time outside the home as an admin assistant and I have a one hour commute (both ways!). Once I get home we have ball games, practice, dinner, finishing up kids stuff like reading, showers and all that goes with getting the kids tucked into bed.
It’s important to me that I make time to be in my studio, work in my art journal, write or do something else to keep my creative juices flowing. That usually happens sometime between 8:30 pm and 2:00 am. I’m a night owl. If I was an early riser, I’m sure I would make time by waking up super early.
Also, my husband works nights, three days a week. So I use those nights for creative me time after the kids are in bed.
What things do you let yourself blow off to make sure you are spending time expressing yourself as a creative woman?
Housework, TV shows (I love my DVR!), surfing the web, checking email, etc. Although, blog hopping is often creative time for me because I get so inspired by other creative people!
When you are really in the zone, being productive, and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
I really can’t answer that question because I’m not there yet. I can imagine how it will be when I’m pursuing my dream full time, but for now; it includes regular day time stuff, then hitting the studio after the munchkins are in bed, where I paint, play, make a huge mess, paint some more, take some pictures and blog about it. And when I’m finished, grab my journal and start writing about how I feel and how inspired I am. These little tid bits of writing become ideas for future blog posts or content for articles I’m working on.
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom?
There was a time when I would have answered yes to that question, but I’ve come to realize that it’s really important that I find ways to meet my needs so that I can be a better mom, wife and overall better person. It’s a good feeling to know that I’m honoring what’s really important to me.
What do you wish you had more time for?
Everything… so I could do more, be more, enjoy more.
How do you or tap into your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
I’m really lucky. My husband helps out so much. His work schedule allows him to be the primary taxi parent. He drops them off at school most days and picks them up every day. He helps them with homework and shuttles them off to practice or games, where I usually meet up with them for the evening.
But, on the days when I do get overwhelmed by mama duties, it can be difficult to get back into the zone creatively. I find other bloggers and creative friends that I’ve met via social networking to be amazingly supportive and there is always someone out there that I can reach out to when I need to.
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family?
Yes and I’ve found that the best thing I can do it let go of that guilt and fully embrace what I’m doing when I’m away from them. Otherwise, it’s time wasted. Sometimes, my husband will send me off to the bookstore for some “me time” and although I feel a tinge of guilt was over me, I check it at the door and enjoy myself! I’m always glad I did and I come home happier and am more pleasant to be around.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as an artist?
There is no such thing as balance, and accepting that and going with the flow is the best practice for me. I’m not one of those people that can compartmentalize who I am. I wear many hats, but I am, at all times, all of those things rolled into one. I am a mom when I’m an artist and visa versa. Recognizing that helps me realize that I don’t need to try to find balance. I don’t think balance is attainable… and that’s ok. Life is kind of like the ocean. Absolutely amazing, and it ebbs and flows, always. There is no controlling or balancing the ocean, it just is.
What gives you hope and inspiration?
Other people that are living their dreams or vigorously and passionately pursuing them.
Me too! 
What do you see for yourself in this next year with regards to your work and being a mom?
Continued growth all around. I plan to continue working on my vision for a creative business. I’m working on some creative workshops and collaborations. I’d love to eventually be able to pursue this full time so that I can have a more flexible schedule and be available to my kids for things like field trips and volunteering in their classrooms or help coach their little league teams.
Anything else you want to let us know about?
You can find me online at:
website & blog: http://www.carmentorbus.com
twitter: http://www.twitter.com/carmentorbus
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/carmentorbus
Also, I have a new column over at WishStudio starting in April called “So inspired right now!” http://www.wishstudio.com
And I’m teaching at The Purple Cottage in May. The workshop is called Art & Dreams Bound. http://www.thepurplecottage.com/
Thank you Carmen! I love how inspired you are while you are working on your dreams. It is contagious! We should all love what we are doing as much as you obviously do.
An Interview with Jenica McKenzie
Today’s interview is with the the fabulously wonderful Jenica McKenzie. If you don’t know Jenica, you are in for a treat!! So much love and inspiration from this incredible mom/artist. She is the originator of the super fun, totally inspiring RAW night. RAW stands for Random Art Workshop, which are a great way to gather friends and nurture your own creativity. I have put together a few of these here in Colorado and I highly recommend you steal her idea.. they are so much fun!
On to the interview…
First off, why don’t you tell us a little about you and your family.
John and I have been married for nine years and have 4 children (ages 2-8). John works full time selling parts in the petroleum transport industry, goes to school full time (engineering), gardens during the summer and is a closet writer. We home educate with more of a montessori/unschool approach, allowing the kids to study what they’re interested in, at their own pace. I’ve had a love for photography my whole life but have only taken it seriously for the last year. I’ve been painting for 2 years.
What would you say your big dream is?
I was a little surprised when I realized that every future goal I have is to encourage and enrich women’s lives in one way or another. I want every woman to know who she is, how much potential she has, and to have the tools to unlock that potential.
I am amazed by how you juggle being a mom to FOUR kids, homeschooling, being an artist and being pretty dang social. How do you do it all?
I don’t try do it all perfectly at once. As Elizabeth MacCrellish once told me, “You can’t sit down and eat a 5 course dinner in one bite. you wouldn’t want to eat the mess on your plate if you dumped your salad into your soup, poured that over your entree, heaped a scoop of sorbet on, and then drizzled your coffee onto the top. you have to eat and savor each, one at a time.” My other secret is that I put my kids to work which multiplies, rather than divides, my time. I tell the kidlets, “If you separate the laundry while I do the dishes then we’ll have time to read a story together.” And it works! Once they see it in action they realize the pay off for them.
I also know that you don’t really get to “do it all” – what things do you let yourself neglect to make sure you are spending time expressing yourself as an artist?
I quite regularly let my house get messy, messy, messy. There are too many other things to do! I’m a terrible shopper as well, it’s nothing short of normal for us to be out bread, eggs, milk, and worse: toilet paper… and clothing? If i can’t buy it online it might as well not exist.
When you are really in the zone, being productive, making art and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
Every tuesday I load the kids up and drive to my mother’s (45 minutes away), she watches all the kids while a friend and I paint together. Then we drive back home and do school and clean for a bit. In the evening I head to yoga and recenter. It’s the one day a week that I look forward to most because it just seems to flow so nicely. Of course that nice flow probably comes from it being the day that I’m the most self serving, haha.
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom, or like things have moved to the backburner, so to speak?
When I got married I put all of my art supplies away and decided to focus entirely on doing and being everything a good mama does. Only problem with that idea, is that I had never learned that good mama’s also nurture themselves because no one else steps up to nurture them. I was an excellent mother to one child, then an amazing mother to two, but when the third came I found that I was outnumbered! And then when I found that I was pregnant with my fourth child in 5 years, I simply broke. I had been putting everything into my children, which is a good and noble thing, but for me I didn’t balance that properly. I was a mess! When you take a flight there’s good reason that you’re told to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. It took some blogging, networking, and creating before I found myself again. I feel like I rose out of the ashes at that point and emerged a happier, healthier mama; willing to balance my needs with everyone else’s. It’s still touch and go some days but I’m learning to cultivate wholeness.
What do you wish you had more time for?
I still wish I had more time to paint. While I can do art projects with my children, I’ve learned that at this stage of our lives, I simply can’t paint for me while they’re awake!
How do you squeeze in time for yourself, your art, your passions?
I’ve had to make it a priority. I give myself a break and remember that if my children were in public school I would have several hours to myself each day. Seeing that I’ve made the decision to have them home, I have to carve that time out for myself and choose not to feel guilty for it. Once a month I gather with my RAW group and create art with friends; I’ve learned that this focused time away helps me to feel more centered during the long hours we’re all together. I have all that I need to give when I’ve been filled up myself.
How do you tap into your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
At this point I often choose a nap over art! But I have to remember that creativity FEEDS my spirit and enlivens my body. It’s worth the sacrifice to put a little bit of time in. Once I get painting, the tiredness leaves and I get mooovin’ and groovin’. It’s first jumping the hurdle of resistance.
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family? How do you deal with that?
I used to feel really guilty about leaving my children. But as Karen Maezen Miller said (paraphrasing) it’s easy to let someone off the hook when you realize that you’re the one holding the hook. I’ve realized that my family does better with a happy & centered mama, instead of a stressball of fury. ;-D because I mostly paint outside of my home, I do feel guilty about the time I end up spending away from my husband. We’ve learned too that different things rejuvenate different people. I’m an extreme extrovert and I thrive being around people, my husband is more of a homebody and would prefer to study while I paint. It’s just about finding balance.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as an artist?
The knowledge that creating art makes me a BETTER mama. I’ve tried to live without art as a mother and it nearly killed me. Art saved my life and it’s brought our family closer as well. There’s a synergy that exists when children see their parents following their hearts. When I paint something new, my children will copy the new idea and add to it. When I watch them create with reckless abandon, with no fear, I put aside the judgments I have of myself and I allow myself to just get messy.
Wow, that is such an amazing perspective! What gives you hope and inspiration?
Seeing other women who have struggled this same path and “won.” Sally Mann and Edith Vonnegut immediately come to mind. My children consistently boost me too; if you came to visit, my children would take you by the hand and say, “Did you know my mama’s an artist, come see her paintings, would you like to buy some?” This cheers my heart and helps me to see the value in my own work.
What do you see for yourself in this next year with regards to being an artist and being a mom?
Honestly, I haven’t a clue. Ultimately I do art for myself, but I still enter contests, talk to galleries, and try to get myself out there like any *real* artist would. As far as being a mama is concerned: now that my youngest is two, I feel my burdens lightening. And sometimes I think that I want more babies…call me crazy!
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
I’ve always wanted a large, tight-knit family. I think we’re working towards that. I hope that they’ll always stay close and that they’ll be able to pursue their own dreams.
How does your making art help make those dreams come true?
I think that home life holds the most raw and vulnerable moments of our lives, it’s through these moments that children learn true compassion. Not when things are easy, but when they see our imperfections and flaws. My hope is that my children will learn that creative thinking is what saves us and that they’ll follow their hearts, as I’m doing now.
Anything else you want us to know?
If you feel a yearning towards something, take the steps TODAY to do it. We control our own destiny, we control our happiness, we control our lives. So know this, that NOW is the time to find your bliss.
Oh yes it is!! Thanks for encouraging all of us to do that. You are so inspiring and such a great partner on this journey toward creative, passionate motherhood.
Jenica McKenzie is first and foremost a woman :: a creator of life and beauty :: a mama to 4 littler ones :: a wife, a partner, a companion :: a mixed media artist :: photographer :: reader of bedtime stories :: laundry goddess. She can be found on her blog, her art blog, at her shop, on facebook, or organizing a RAW group activity.
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An Interview with Kathryn Mathis
This week, I am talking to Kathryn Mathis, of Sweet Feet Photography. I asked Kathryn for an interview because I think she is a pretty remarkable mom, which I think you will see as she shares about her family and her dreams.
Welcome Kathryn! First off, why don’t you tell us a little about you and your family.
I am a mom of 4 amazing, wonderful, awesome children (and one on the way!). Dakota is 5 1/2 years old and has Autism. Coy, Max, and Lily are 3 1/2 year old triplets. Coy is our special little neuro-typical child. Max is also on the Autism spectrum. Lily had a very bad brain injury as a 4 month old and is about like having a 1-2 month old baby, but is so much fun (and feisty!). I work full time at home as Lily’s nurse as well as being a professional photographer outside the home. My husband, Jeremy, is a full time student at two colleges and should be done with school in Spring 2012.
I am amazed by how you juggle being a mom to FOUR kids, running your business, taking care of a special needs child, and having 3 three year olds. How do you do it all?
I’m not sure sometimes! It can get very overwhelming at times and certain things continuously get neglected (ie; our laundry never gets put away) to make time for other things, but I’m slowly finding a balance.
I also know that you don’t really get to “do it all” – how could you? So, what things do you let yourself neglect to make sure you are spending time expressing yourself as an artist?
I would say the house gets neglected the most. I envy organized and clean spaces. I’ve managed to keep our house clean, for the most part, but there’s always dishes and laundry to be done, toys to be picked up, floors to be mopped. It’s tragic how little my floor gets mopped.
What would you say your big dream is?
To be successful and happy with where I’m at. I have big business aspirations that I will be overjoyed when I eventually get them all done, no matter how long it takes. My big big dream is to become known as THE newborn photographer to go to. To have people fly from other states for me or fly me to them, because they love my work that much.
What did you want to be when you grew up? How does your real life today compare?
Interestingly enough, I wanted to be a Neonatologist that specialized in special needs babies. While I’m not a Dr, I did end up in the health care field and work 24/7 with my special needs kiddos. I also dedicate part of my photography business to volunteer photography of special needs children, infants in the NICU, and terminal (or passed) children.
When you are really in the zone, being productive, being an artist, running your business and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
Lots of tv for the kids, lots of root beer for me, ha! That is typically how the day goes when I have things I need to get accomplished though. My office is set up right next to the kids playroom, so they play and get to watch favorite shows while I work. When I don’t have a ton of things to do and I can pace it out a bit, I’ll work for a few hours during the day, then I’ll generally start back up when the kids have gone to bed.
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom, or like things have moved to the back burner, so to speak?
Kind of. Because I have so many children and due to their special needs, I’m not able to go anywhere by myself. That makes it really difficult to get out of the house, ever, since Jeremy has such a demanding school schedule as well. It can get hard being cooped up so much with no possible escape. It can be hard, but I think it will get better as they get older.
What do you wish you had more time for?
Trying out all the new things I want to do in my business.
How do you squeeze in time for yourself, your art, your passions?
One day a week is scheduled for me to do something, uninterrupted. Whether it be a photo session, getting my hair done, or something like that, I have the time for me. I don’t always take it, but it’s nice to have there. During each day, I have an hour or so where the kids have to sit quietly and read or draw while I work on what I need to.
How do you tap into your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
That is a very hard question and I can’t say I’ve figured out the answer yet. One of the ways I spark my passion is by looking at what my idols are doing and thinking about how I could get there and what I would have to do.
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family? How do you deal with that?
I do feel guilty sometimes, particularly because I don’t ever get time away from them, except when I’m working or getting a haircut. I know that a relaxed mom is better to them than a strung out one because I’m so stressed. It has been hard getting myself to believe that though.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as an artist?
Online support of other photographer friends/moms has been essential for me. We bounce ideas off each other and help each other stay focused and challenged.
What gives you hope and inspiration?
My kids. They have inspired a lot of my ideas and designs.
What do you see for yourself in this next year with regards to your business and being a mom?
This next year should be very interesting for both my business and me! Our new baby is due in June, so I think the couple months afterward might be a bit slow, but I have lots of aspirations for the months leading up to that and then into 2011. My goal in the next few years is to become only a newborn photographer. I absolutely adore working with newborns, there is just so much amazing art you can create. I know for the mom part of it, I will eventually break down and ask for outside help. That is going to be hard for me, because it’s just not ME.
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
Really, just everyone being happy, no matter what they do.
How does your making art help make those dreams come true?
I think it definitely shows our kids that you can do what you want if you put your mind to it, that you can have a job in what you love, and that you don’t have to sacrifice joy to have a career. It’s also important to me to show our girls that women can do more than stay at home, if that’s what they want. There are no limits to what they can do.
Thanks so much, Kathryn, for taking the time to talk to us. The thing I am loving about what you have to say is that no matter what our dreams are, no matter what our circumstances, make the time for your own dreams – it is so worth it!
An Interview with Sara Janssen
I am so excited to share this interview with you! Sara Janssen has been a HUGE inspiration to me and our family’s dream to live and travel in an RV. I have been reading her blog for years and now she has a new, equally inspiring travel blog.
So, with pleasure, I want to introduce you to Sara:
Why don’t you start by telling us a little about your family.
We are the “Happy Janssens“…Matt, Sara, Bella (5), and Lucy (9 mo). We started traveling in September 2007, when we embarked on the “Live Lightly Tour“. For 18 months, we traveled the country (powered by straight vegetable oil), met new friends, educated others about living sustainably and fell in love with our beautiful country. We stopped traveling and “settled down” for a bit when Lucy was born, but now we’re back on the road again…with no plans to stop anytime soon.
What would you say your big dream is?
We would love to travel worldwide with our family. Right now, we have no plans to go international, but as the kids get older, that is something we would love to do!
You travel full time in an RV with your family. Please tell us more about that.
We LOVE living in and traveling in the RV full time. There is nothing better! It’s so much fun to have your home with you at all times…whether we are on the beach or at grandpa and grandma’s house, we always feel comfortable. Here is our full story: www.happyjanssens.com/about-us/
Is this something you always wanted to do?
No…it’s a dream that built and built…and it sort of evolved along the way into what it is today! And now, we can’t really imagine it differently. I talk about that here too: www.happyjanssens.com/about-us/
What did your family and friends say when you told them your plans to live in an RV?
They were very supportive…and I know that is not common! They had lots of questions, but were excited for us. At the point where we were deciding to travel, we had already downsized radically, so they were used to us doing “crazy stuff”!
How did you deal with the nay-sayers, the people who didn’t support what you?
We really didn’t have anyone close to us who told us it couldn’t be done. We would get an occasional email from someone online who was “worried” about our children’s well being, etc. So many people are held back from realizing a dream because of fear of what other people might say. When something is out of someone’s comfort zone and they’ve never experienced it first hand, they will almost always react with objections and fear. But we refuse to let other people’s fears dictate our lives.
Do you ever question your choices and if so, how do you bring yourself back to that space of trust?
We have never really questioned our life on the road…we love it so much and we knew that it was our preferred lifestyle from the moment we set out. There might be days that are harder than others, but we get confirmation every day that what we are doing is right where we need to be.
What were your dreams in life before becoming a mom?
To be the best wife I could be! Honestly, I’ve never aspired to be a big “career woman”…I’ve always wanted a job that I could do from home with kids. But even when I was married, I had jobs that allowed me to stay home. I enjoyed being able to “keep house” during those first 4 years of our marriage and bless my husband in that way.
What did you want to be “when you grew up?”
I always dreamed of working for a magazine in New York City.
How does that compare with your real life now?
I guess you could consider a blog kind of like a magazine…and I blogged about New York City!
I love how you purposefully live a slow and intentional life. Has is always been like that for you?
No, we used to have a hectic, 80 hour work week life. Slowing down was an intentional choice that we made…and we had to change jobs and move to a different state to accomplish that. But it’s certainly possible to do by just making little changes in one’s lifestyle. Getting rid of the TV can help with that, and choosing to take a break from the Internet for a time is good to slow down your mind a bit.
I do think you can live a fast-paced life that is still mindful and fulfilling. I wouldn’t call our life now “slow” by any means. We tend to be on the go a lot, always meeting new people and having new experiences. I think that by homeschooling, that keeps our life at a different pace than most families. We have no requirements to wake Bella up before she is ready or run out the door early in the morning, and we enjoy that.
What things do you let yourself neglect to make sure you are spending time expressing yourself ?
Sleep! I work best at night or early morning, so I tend not to sleep as much as I need. Luckily, I have an amazing hubby who takes the girls when I need some naptime.
When you are really in the zone, being productive, and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
A “perfect” day would involve me getting up at sunrise and reading my Bible, praying and having a cup of tea. I would get all the laundry and housework done before anyone woke up.
I would make a delicious breakfast that we would all enjoy together. And then we would head off to enjoy nature…packing a picnic lunch!
The rest of the day would involve lots of love and learning…and another shared meal at the end of the day.
After the girls go to bed, I would start working and accomplish everything I set out to do!
This might sound like a “vacation day” for some families, but that’s why I love life on the road, because this is a very real possibility for us to do many times a week!
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom, or like things have moved to the back burner, so to speak?
Like any mom, I just don’t have a lot time for things that I used to spend time one. Reading books for hours on end….going out to movies on a whim, etc. But those things have been replaced by things that are even better…like snuggling my girls or cooking for my family.
Everything has a season. I am a wife and mother…and that is my first priority. After the girls are older, I will have time for me me me again…but for now, my focus is on Matt and the girls and I love it. I have never resented them for one minute for the things that I “can’t do” now.
What do you wish you had more time for?
I wish I had more time to do something like scrapbooking or documenting our journey on “paper” and not just online. Someday though…like I said…a season for everything!
How do you connect with your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
I read blogs! There is so much inspiration to be had…just peeking into other’s lives and seeing how they are being creative and balancing it all. I love that moment when I come across a kindred spirit online … it’s magical.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as an artist?
Keeping my focus on that things that really matter and not just the things that are “urgent”. At any given moment, I have the choice to do many different things. Work, clean, play with the girls, etc. I always try to choose the one that will make the most impact for eternity.
This is why I TRY to save the bulk of my work for when the girls are asleep. It doesn’t always work that way, but that’s what I strive for. I work a “real” job as well, and several days a week I need to work during the day…but I can do it all from the kitchen table and still interact with the girls and Matt.
What gives you hope and inspiration?
Jesus Christ.
Other amazing artists and mothers.
Travel.
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
That our lifestyle would glorify God and that others would see the light of Jesus shining out from our lives.
Any advice you have for our readers?
Do something that inspires you every day!
Share your knowledge and speak love into other’s lives….it’s always worth it.
If you have a dream…DON’T HESITATE! Dreams are rationalized away when you hesitate. Act now and plan later. The details will fall into place.
Amen to that! Thanks for taking the time to share a little about your life with us, Sara. As always, your words are so inspiring and encouraging.
You can read more about Sara and her travels on Happy Janssens.com. She also has an awesome food blog and her Walk Slowly, Live Wildly blog is where I first found her. All good reads.
An Interview with Anna-Marie Still
This my second interview with an amazing, inspiring mama. My hope is that these women inspire you. Not only because they are pursuing their dreams and passions, but because they are mothers – just like you – that deal with the everyday ups and downs and challenges of raising a family and they take care of their own needs at the same time. They have found a way to make it work, which means that you and I can make it work!
It is my pleasure to introduce you to Anna-Marie Still. We met on Facebook not too long ago and I am really glad we did. I am inspired by her every day. She makes art, takes care of her cutie pies and does it all with true grace.
Thank you Anna-Marie, for taking the time to share with the lovely ladies on Visionary Mom about your life ~ why don’t you tell us a little about you and your family.
David & I have been married for 15 years and have 4 kiddos – Lachlan (12), Aedan (9), Kyla (7) and Ronan (22mths).
I am a mixed-media artist/instructor. I am passionate about art – painting, mixed media, designing, illustration, writing, teaching & public speaking. I have taught many art & crafting classes & workshops that have varied in size from 5 to 7,000. I find great joy in motivating and inspiring others to try new things and go with the creative flow in their artwork.
I recently opened an Etsy shop to more forward with my goal of balancing my teaching artist workshops & sharing my personal art. Indigo Footprints is an embodiment of both my personal mixed-media art and my instinctual need to inspire others to nurture their own creative souls. I have been teaching artist workshops in one form or another consistently for more than 7 years.
Indigo Footprints declares accountability to not only “Evoke Art Everyday”, my blog mantra, but the importance of sharing that art with others.
What would you say your big dream is?
I’d have to say that my “big dream” right now is more of a “bundling” of a few dreams. I’m fostering some big changes including moving & finding the balance between my work as an artist/artist instructor/mother & wife. As a free-spirit, I love feeling the pull of a major shake-up such as a move. The fresh-startedness of it all is sooo inspiring to me!
Have you always wanted to be an artist?
I guess you could say yes, but in varying degrees depending on what point in my life you are talking about. There were definitely times especially in my teens and 20’s when I felt a burning desire to be a working artist, but unsure of how to make that happen, my art just kind of simmered on the back burner. Teaching art & art workshops for the past 7 years, has really been the foundation which has re-ignited my desire to put my personal artwork out there.
I love how you somehow manage to make art everyday. Has it always been like that? How did you get your life set up to support you being a true working artist?
It took a good 5 years for me to settle into my practice of “Evoking Art Everyday” (my blog mantra). Making art everyday initially happened as a result of my becoming a Stampin’ Up! Demonstrator back in 2003. What started as a hobby grew into a business fast & I was designing cards & scrapbook pages like a crazy person to keep up with all my workshops, classes & events. In 2006, I was burnt out and miserable. I loved teaching and inspiring others, but I realized that everything I had been creating for the past 3 years was out of necessity for a class, workshop, conference or event. It was then I decided that I needed to take time everyday to create something everyday with no other purpose than to feed my soul. There is a reason the stewardesses tells you to put your air mask on before helping someone else. I realized that I needed to feed my own creative soul each day before working on projects for others.
In doing so, I grew, I challenged myself artistically and I felt the pull of a different artistic life calling me which is how I’ve transitioned into being a mixed-media artist/instructor.
What things do you let yourself neglect (aka blow off) to make sure you are spending time expressing yourself as an artist?
If you popped by my home without calling first, you’d see that housework definitely takes a back seat. Just call first before dropping by, okay 
That’s how it is for me too, glad I am not the only one that needs a warning first! When you are really in the zone, being productive, making art and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
Ahhh…a day in the life! During the week, if the stars are aligned, it currently looks like this:
I bring David to work and the big kids to their respective schools, come home and settle the baby in with his 2nd breakfast.
Check/answer emails, catch up on social networking, update my blog then put him down for a nap & paint or create journals, get ready for classes or shows.
Baby wakes up, I make us lunch, check/answer emails again and blog surf while I eat my lunch.
Try to get a little more work done then head to pick up the big kids from school.
Get them snacks, prompt them through homework and instrument practice, start supper prep, round them all up to go get David from work.
Feed kids, reading time, bedtimes.
Spend time chatting and/or watching tv with David.
Back in the studio to wrap up anything pressing.
Usually in bed by midnight.
Weekends are a whole other story!
I’ve learned that being flexible & willing to adjust to the ebb & flow of family life is the best way to get it all done. Sure, there are times when I’m under tight deadlines and the baby is particularly needy or the kids need help with a school project, which seemingly messes with my “plan”, but I’ve learned that getting stressed about it doesn’t do any one of us a bit of good. I try to “pad” my timeframes so that I can actually handle the interruptions without too much stress, even when I have a looming deadline. (Ironically enough, as I type this, I’ve been upstairs 3 times to settle the baby who has a nasty cough & case of the sniffles. I’ve finally scooped him up and as I comfort him I realize it’s time to switch gears, put this writing aside for the night and head to bed with him).
Do you feel like parts of yourself have been neglected since becoming a mom, or like things have moved to the back burner, so to speak? How do you feel about that?
When I was a new mom, (the first 3-4 years), I felt totally fulfilled in my role as mom and I didn’t realize how important it was to take time for me. I was perfectly content cocooning at home with my babies, with my entire focus on them. When I started teaching art workshops & traveling, I realized how important maintaining interests & a role other than mom is.
Having that bit of separation is a refresher and even when I don’t want it or think I need it, I always come back refreshed and a better mother & wife because I had that time for me.
Thankfully, I also have a husband who is supportive of my passions and sees the value in partnering with me to achieve them. When I am reminded of things I used to enjoy, for instance, juggling, he doesn’t bat an eye when I go online and order a set of juggling pins to toss around the backyard. He understands the importance of nurturing the creative, playful soul.
I’ve also learned that it’s important for my children to see me taking time for myself to juggle pins in the backyard, and putting a value on my time in the studio. I have an open door policy and they are free to come in when they please, but they understand and respect that sometimes mommy is “working under a deadline” and they may have to be a bit more patient in those instances.
What do you wish you had more time for?
Back to the housework – I really wish my house was neater/cleaner on a regular basis, but I’m not sure that given more time that’s what I’d do with it!
In declaring my intentions for 2010, I’ve laid out how I’d like to balance my time this year with a strong emphasis on getting my family outdoors more & balancing my teaching art & personal art. If I can be true to that this year, I’ll be thrilled.
How do you connect with (or tap into) your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
I used to struggle with this one hard! I’d push myself to stay up into the wee hours, burning out – it was awful! While pregnant with baby number 4, I put a lot of emphasis on self-care & being peaceful so I just said no to pushing myself so hard. Nowadays, I accept that when I’m tired, it’s best to rest and I simply shut the lights off, go to bed with no remorse looking instead to a fresh start in the morning.
If it’s during the day and I’m frustrated & tired, I opt for a change of scenery, get in the car and go do some errands (we always need milk, bread or something anyway!).
Bottom line is that it is counterproductive to “force” it when you are fried.
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family? How do you deal with that?
Honestly, I rarely want time away. I’m kind of a homebody like that. I deal with my feelings of “not wanting to leave them” by recognizing the benefits that come from my time away. Benefits for me and for my family.
What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as an artist?
For me, balance is a constant struggle. Over the past year, I’ve been making a conscious effort to find a balance that sits right, not only in my heart, but in the hearts of my wee ones. I want them to embrace art so I want to be sure that they never feel overshadowed by it as a result of my inability to balance the two.
What gives you hope and inspiration?
Different things at different times. I suppose it depends on what dreams I’m working toward at the time. Right now, as I branch out into putting my personal artwork out there, I find hope and inspiration from those who have done the same.
I always find inspiration from my workshop attendees – seeing their excitement and sense of accomplishment always inspires and energizes me!
What do you see for yourself in this next year with regards to being an artist and being a mom?
This year I’m making some very bold moves in regards to being a working artist which is making me extra cautionary to ensure my role as mom doesn’t get “muddied”.
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
That we will continue to grow together; celebrating, recognizing & fostering each others individual passions.
How does YOU making art help make those dreams come true?
I think that when you are free to make art, and those around you recognize the value in it and encourage you to persue it, there a peace that settles into your soul allowing a give & take love fest to transpire.
Anything else you want to let us know?
Whether you are an artist for a living or not, it is absolutely possible for you to find a smidgen of time to “Evoke Art Everyday”. I believe it is vital for you to do so. “Art” is whatever you deem it to be – it is whatever burns in your heart and feeds your soul. If you declare that bit of time for yourself each day, guilt-free, over time you will see all other areas of your life fall into place. It really is a magical thing.
Thank you Anna-Marie for sharing about your life and your art. You have reminded me how important it is to take time everyday for me stuff, things that feed my soul. That time always makes me feel more connected and “there” for my family, which I think is what we all want.
You can follow Anna-Marie’s creative mama journey on her blog: www.annamariestill.com Check out her artwork and “Make Your Mark Journals” in her Etsy shop: www.annamariestilll.etsy.com
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An Interview with Shona Cole
This is the first of many upcoming interviews with inspiring moms, who are actively pursuing their dreams. My hope is that you learn from these awesome mothers. They have found a way to make it all work even though they struggle and face their own unique challenges.
And, if you are anything like me, please don’t compare yourself to them! They are where they are and you are where you are. Don’t forget that.
My first interview is with Shona Cole, author of ‘The Artistic Mother – a Practical Guide to Fitting Creativity into Your Busy Schedule.’
Here we go…
Shona, thanks for taking the time for this interview. Why don’t you tell us a little about your family.
My family is my husband of 15 years, Mark and our 5 precious children – 2 boys and 3 girls, all unique and beautiful and fun (and challenging!) in their own way.
Mark, an American, and I met 19 years ago in Ireland where I grew up. We did the long distance relationship thing for 4 years before we married and I moved with him to the states. We were married 5 years before we had kids. Mark works as an attorney from home and runs a small seminary.
We homeschool our kids and I take lots of photos, write poems about our life, and do mixed media collage. We go on a date night every Friday, which usually involves eating something yummy then going to a movie or sitting in Barnes & Nobles drinking coffee, reading and talking about life and our kids!
What would you say your BIG dream is?
To publish lots of books and create lots of photographs and mixed media collage art that faithfully reflect my world and can inspire other Moms and families to live creative lives together too.
Tell us about your book.
My first book, ‘The Artistic Mother’ is already in bookstores in the US and due internationally in March! It is a book for Moms who would like to do some mixed media art but have not yet found out how to regularly fit it into their schedules.
There are 3 parts –
1) a collection of essays about creativity and planning and organizing
2) introduction to mixed media art, photography and writing poetry – all the basic skills that will be needed to complete the third section of the book…
3) a 12 week workshop that guides Momma though making 11 art projects. It has a day by day schedule as well as the project steps.
The designer Marissa Bowers did a beautiful job with the design. So the book is pretty to look at which, I hope is inspiring in itself!
What inspired you to write about Creativity and Motherhood?
Well, long story short, I have seen in my own life that when I do something creative, something for myself I am a better mom! I have something that I can do and do well, that sense of achievement makes me content. Also, I like to have something creative to look forward to when the kids are down for the night or playing with the neighbors.
From Moms I meet I hear a whole lot of ‘how do you do all you do?’ and ‘oh, I can’t get anything done’, so I wanted to tell folks how it is I do get it done and hopefully inspire some young Moms to get creating.
Have you always been “artsy”?
Pretty much. I have always been drawn to artsy things, always liked pretty things, fancy papers and indie music. As kids when my brother did summer sports camp I went to the art camp. I was involved in theater, dance, took drawing and painting classes, write poetry…. I’m a dabbler, I kind of bounced around in the arts, with no clear vision.
Somehow I saw art in terms of ‘fine art’, where you had to be either super good at drawing or really wacky and way out. I was neither. I didn’t have the patience to learn a craft like knitting or jewelry making, but in my late 20’s when I discovered mixed media and then digital photography I found art that is easy, expressive and fun! I was hooked.
Have you always wanted to be a writer?
Kind of, over the years I have seen the power in the written word to move and inspire. At different points in my life I have wanted to write a novel and I have always written a lot of poetry (mostly bad). I believe that to be a great writer you must 1) be a reader 2) have something to communicate.
As I am not much of a reader I never really progressed in the creative writing field. I find writing difficult; I agonize over sentences and am then terrible at editing them once written. I like to write the way I talk and sometimes that doesn’t read well. I think at times I liked the idea of being a writer more than doing the actual work!
I come from Ireland, where poets and writers are revered. I tried to get into the poetry scene when I was in college, but found it terrifyingly unfriendly and I couldn’t understand half of what the poets wrote!
Also, up to now I really didn’t have a decent topic to write about. I guess I needed to find my passion – i.e. motherhood and art, before I could get anything worthwhile on paper!
What did you want to be “when you grew up?”
I never really had a plan. As a dabbler I was into to many things, on one day I would want to be an artist, another a lecturer, another a poet, another a photographer. None of which I really pursued. I am glad now I didn’t, because if I had found my passion before kids I might not have ever decided to have 5 kids, move out of the city, or even come to the States at all! I think that my vagueness allowed me the space to find the life that was waiting for me; one I didn’t even know that I loved.
How does your childhood dreams compare with your real life now?
Now my life is concrete, stable, vibrant, clear, and solid. I know that what I am doing is for me. I can’t be shaken by anyone. I am a mother. I am a home schooling mother. I do everything around my family and close friends. I want to express this life in words and images forever. It is right for me. Growing up I was unfocused, vague, confused, alone and miserable! I like where I am now a whole lot more.
I love how you manage to be creative everyday. Has it always been like that? How did you get your life set up to support you being a writer and an artist?
I was not always like this. It took me time to get over the culture shock of living in America, then spent 4 years working in social services before getting pregnant. During that time I was not doing anything particularly creative. It was when I quit work to stay home that I discovered mixed media art, photography, and re-discovered poetry.
But even then I didn’t know how vital it was for me. I didn’t know to have a vision and a plan. I thought doing art was a muse thing, a feeling, something natural and if I didn’t ‘feel’ it then I wasn’t really an artist.
When my oldest kids were very young I would be tired from momma duties and in the evenings watch a movie instead of creating. I would not take the time to develop my skills; subsequently I would be disappointed in my efforts when I finally got to work. So I would then not want to bother. It went round and round like that until I finally faced the fact that I was depressed.
I was with screaming kids all day and nothing for me. I felt a little guilt at having been give a good education and some talents but I was not using them. I also felt disappointed in myself for not trying to work at any writing or art skills before kids when I really did have the time. I reached a crisis point and then determined to make a change and to get serious about doing this art.
I determined that I could pull myself together and do the work and make something of my talents. So I prayed a whole lot, wrote lists, visions, goals, told them to friends (for accountability) and stuck to them.
When you are really in the zone, being productive, writing, making art and doing all the things you want to be doing, what does a typical day look like?
Get up (late in terms of the rest of the world) and check emails, respond to any comments on my blog, put finishing touches on the next blog post, visit an art blog or two, clean the dishes, do a load of laundry, make/re-view my goals list for the day. Do school with the kids. Lunch, do a couple of fast easy things on my list before afternoon school while the kids watch a video or play outside. Afternoon school. Dinner, evening with the kids and my beloved. Then about 9 or 10 I will get to my computer for my art evening. I check emails, write an article, blog post, process some photos, make a plan for a collage. Around midnight I will go to my craft table, which is right next to the kitchen and do some hands on art until about 2am. Between 2-3 I wind down, emails, blogs, prayer time etc.
What do you wish you had more time for?
Yard work. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a gardener, but I have some visions of what we could do on our property – build a tree house, a sculpture path, and a permanent fairy house village. But these things all involve us learning to do carpentry and I just don’t have the time to pick up a new craft. I guess I miss antiquing with my husband. Before kids we would spend weekends looking for cool stuff for our house. I don’t get out that much now!
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time away from your family? How do you deal with that?
A little. As I homeschool I am giving so much to them already, so by the end of the day or on weekends if the neighbors or friends are over and the kids are outside playing happily I will get time for me and I feel it is OK- they had enough mom. They need space from me as much as I need it from them. That said my oldest son is a night owl, quality time person. He would like to hang out with me more in the evenings. I feel a little guilty that I don’t give him attention then, but I think he will look back and understand why I was so focused in the evenings.
How do you connect with (or tap into) your own creativity and passions in those times when you feel tired and worn out from your mama duties?
If I see myself slipping towards inactivity with regard to art and writing I have a couple of things I gravitate to in order to keep me connected: taking time to browse artsy blogs for connection and inspiration; watching the brilliance of an independent movie; listening to music. Those things make me want to go create too!
What are some of those favorite blogs that give you inspiration?
oiseaux
Ilka’s Attic
blu bambu
Nectar & Light
persisting stars
Misty Mawn
tender letters
wishstudio
Contemplating the Moon
Bluebirdbaby
SouleMama
Ruffles And Stuff
I could go on…. as you may have learned from me I hardly know when to stop!!!!
No worries! I say you can’t get too much inspiration. What would you say is the single most important thing that helps you balance who you are as a mom and who you are as an artist?
My goals lists. I write it all down and keep everything in focus. If I see on paper I am doing too much art related things in the day then I can adjust to do more mom or housework stuff. Likewise, if I see on paper I am not getting enough done art wise then I step it up, look for a challenge or collaboration project to work on
What do you see for yourself in this next year with regards to being a writer/artist and being a mom?
My book proposal #2 is written and ready to send to North Light Books. I would love if they accepted my proposal so I could get going on the next book. That would involve both my art and writing.
What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your family?
That my kids will be healthy and achieve their dreams and live to their fullest potential. All my girls are artistic, but in different ways. I would love one day for them to do some kind of art that we could all collaborate on, like writing and illustrating children’s books or making a line of jewelry, or have an art show together. My son is super bright and I want him to find his path early on in life and achieve to the extent of his ability. I want them all to get married and have lots of kids so I can do crafts with my grandkids. I want my husband to achieve his career goals and for us to live happily together with our house filled with art making, vibrant conversations and children. Basically I hope for an extension of what our life is today.
How do you think pursuing your own dreams helps to make the dreams you have for your family come true?
This is very important to me. I am very aware of how my kids are influenced by my husband and myself. My eldest daughter already says she wants to be a mommy and an artist. They think it is normal for Mom to work at art and be published in magazines and now in a book. I think that will inspire them to work hard and find their path in life and not be afraid.
Thank you so much for sharing a glimpse into your life, Shona. I love how, over time, you have carved out space yourself to do what you love! It is refreshing to hear how it doesn’t happen over night, but that if we just get started, the pieces really do all fall into place.
