Some Thoughts About Permission

Because it *may* be that you are not giving it to yourself.

photo credit

If you have a dream, anything you think about and wish for and wonder “what if?”  But, you aren’t really doing anything to make that dream a reality – a huge, super duper important ingredient that you may have forgotten is permission.

Last night I was chatting with a close friend, who moved away and we don’t chat as often as we should.  Her big news was that she is going to India later this year.  By herself .  Without her 2 young children or her husband.  For SIX weeks!


That was all I could think when she told me about it.  How can you go for so long?  What about the kids?  Who will take care of them?  How are you going to manage that?

The idea seemed totally crazy to me.  Exciting and wonderful, but crazy.

The nuts and bolts, in case you are wondering, is that her husband is taking some time off work and the rest of the time they will be with a nanny.   He is even going to take them to Mexico for a few weeks to visit family while she is gone.  Pretty awesome papa, huh?

Well, after oooohing and aaaaahing over the details of her trip, I got to thinking….

This has been a long time dream of hers, and something she wished she could do, but for all the normal reasons that most of us would have, thought of it as something that would happen some day – later – maybe,  hopefully. But not right now.

The dream was always there and she would bring it up from time to time.

Then one day her husband said, “You should go.”  And he was serious.  (oh we should all be so lucky to have someone get us like that and know what we need.)

Anyway, his giving her permission opened up the possibility of her giving herself permission to go.  And now, not later.

So the planning and plotting and googling and ticket buying began.

For those of you who are married, I am not saying – at all – that your partner has to give you permission first.  That is just how it happened with my friend.   His doing so made some space for her to give permission to herself.

Which, is what needs to happen if you are going to make your dream real.

You have to say yes to it.  You have to say now to it.

Then, from there you can work out the how.  The details.  The plans.

But, without that permission, nothing much can happen.

For my friend, even with her husband’s support and encouragement, she easily could have said, “Yeah right?!  I can’t do that now, it’s crazy.”    And the dream would have stayed a good daydream to visit every so often.

Instead, she said yes!  Her tickets are purchased, her little cabin is reserved and she is going.

She gave herself permission and the details have worked themselves out.

Now, I know that it may not always be this easy.  The spouse may say no way in heck are you leaving us here for 6 weeks.  Or maybe you don’t have the money or the time, or whatever.

My answer to that is give yourself permission anyway!

Say yes and go for it.  To whatever juicy dream you have brewing in your mind.  That doesn’t mean you say to your family, see ya – deal with it.  Getting them on board may take time.  Saving up enough money may take awhile.  Carving out the room in your busy schedule will take some practice and getting used to.  But, all of that.  ALL.OF.IT.  will work itself out if you are a yes and you really, really want to make your dream happen.

So, give yourself permission to have what you want, to do what you want and to go for it!

And, if you are waiting for someone else to say, go ahead, you can do it.  Well, here I am.

I give you permission.  Will you?

Previous post:

Next post: