A weekly series ~ Share YOUR Truth. Giving all of you a chance to share your truth, celebrate it, embrace it and proudly be who you really are…
This week, we get to hear from Kat Pevzner.
When I tell my truth it looks something like this:
The past two months have been the hardest I’ve been through. My life and everything I know it to be has been turned sideways and things I had faith in, things that I trusted and that I was certain would always be there got spilled out when my life tipped over.
Even though this stuff isn’t quite over, and even though I’ll probably never really get over what happened, today- this moment, right now, I’m okay. Let me tell you how that’s possible.
The truth is, I have a bounty of loved ones who are looking out for me. They came to my rescue when this all happened.
They showed up with dinner, with offers to mind the children, willingness to sit with me and hand me copious amounts of tissues.They came with gentle loving hands, hands to weed the walkway, hands to rub my head, hands to put away my dishes.
They sent funny cards, boxes of books, art supplies, perfect coffee mugs, candles, delicious lavender lotion, tea, gluten free breads and brownies, rainbow striped socks… all the supplies needed to distract and pamper a broken heart. Even the new friends, ones that didn’t know me all that well! It didn’t matter, they knew what I needed and they were happy to give it.
They offered shoulders to cry on, arms to be held in, hands to rub stress out, feet to carry me. They offered the strength it took to hold me up the best they could.
My dear friends, my loving family- they give me the time I need to mourn. They give me space to create, make some art, get together with my art community to create my story (like the story bracelet in the photo). They help me get through the hard tasks of the day and make them easier so that I can focus on what is vital which is to care for the children and care for myself.
When I did ask, I even said “I’m asking too much! I don’t know what I need, I don’t know who I think I am asking for help.”
It was the truth of one friend who said, “It’s up to US decide how we can help, you just need to sit back and receive it.”
And I did.
And now the truth is, I am the luckiest- the LUCKIEST girl in the world because I got the gift of love, the gift of support and kindness and permission to let go and fall back and trust that things would be taken care of. I got to know perfect strangers more. I still can’t wait for them to meet the “real” me- the one without all the sadness swirling around my heart. There have been more moments of laughter and clarity, despite the pain and unrest of the situation. There have been far less things for me to worry about because they took care of some of the worries. There have been more opportunities for me to NOT put that “self-care” off, because they’ve made sure to handle what it took for me to find the time.
The truth is, I could have tried to do this on my own, grief would have been so long, and so painful and lonely and I may have made terrible choices because my judgment wouldn’t have had the same amazing sounding board that I have with all these loving and patient people to give me the feedback I need… but I’m glad I DIDN’T have to do this alone.
The truth is that I could let my anger, my sadness, my fear, my heartbreak consume me but the cheerleaders in my life fill me up with love and support so that there is not a heck of a lot of room to let any of those things settle in for long.
I owe so much of the success that I’ve gone this far and continue to walk with my head up to all those gifts in my life that I call my friends and my family.
I thank them all… I thank them all for their love, I will always ALWAYS appreciate everything they have done for me. I wish everyone experiencing difficulties in their lives have what I was given.
The truth is that I can never thank them enough. But someday, when they need me- I will be so ready and willing to return the many kindnesses bestowed upon me by all of them.
I am trying to create a vision of what I do in the next minute, the next hour, the next day, week, month, year… the next lifetime. My vision includes dancing my heiny off with Sage and Iris- my beautiful children, singing along- really really loudly to the radio, dreaming of living in a little house by the sea, laughing. a lot. creating art, creating dinner, creating friendships, creating a happy little mess with paint and paper. and creating a life full of love and kindness- spreading it as far as I can to as many people as I can.
My mission, from my blog (www.thereluctantmermaid.blogspot.com):
My mission is to see art, children, family, crafts, words and love as a growth opportunity by reaching out to those who inspire and to be brave and true wile I do it. I am enough. I am enough. I am more than enough…and I need to start believing that.
We love hearing from you, so please, don’t be shy.