First a little apology for this being posted so late this week! Ack! I’ll just say that my son started kindergarten and I have been totally off my game. Why didn’t anyone warn me that this transition would be so dang emotional? Anyway. here I am playing catch up…
Week Seven of the FREE e-course “8 Weeks to Feeling Like You Have More Time”
You can join in anytime ~
Making Changes That Become Habits
I think one of mistakes people do when they are working on themselves, is they try to do too much, too soon and too fast. Making real, life long changes take time. But we are so busy trying to make everything perfect overnight and that will just leave you frustrated.
Because changes don’t happen over night.
How many times have you decided that tomorrow you are going to do something, life will be different. And tomorrow happens and maybe you do the new thing, but very often even the first day is a big fat failure. Or you do a day, maybe even a few, but then the old ways creep in and you are left talking to yourself about what a looser you are.
Yup. I’ve done this. I DO this ~ all the time!! Deciding to make a change overnight just doesn’t work. Maybe sometimes, but not usually.
Why? Because the more you focus on something and how much you need to change it, the more energy you give that thing. The more real that habit becomes. When you focus, focus, focus on what it is you want to change, the more that thing lives, carries weight and has power in your life.
Don’t believe me? What is one thing in your life that you have been trying to change or fix for a long time, for years? And it Just.Won’t.Go.Away. How much time do you spend focusing on and paying attention to that thing, wanting it to change, wishing you just had the will power, wanting it to just stop being a problem. My guess would be that this thing hangs out in your thoughts quite a bit. It has become a “thing” and you are giving it lots of energy to grow.
Think about the habits you have that waste time and suck your energy. The things you do (or don’t do) that if you could just change them, you would feel like you had TONS more time.
- Letting the house get massively trashed so that it takes a whole day (or longer) to get cleaned up.
- Compulsively checking your email/facebook/twitter throughout the day.
- Hanging out on the computer “doing research” for hours instead of writing or making art or actually producing something.
- Watching TV (a little is okay, but hours and hours and hours of watching and then talking to yourself about how you should be doing something else = creativity killer)
- Making a big, huge to-do list and then avoiding it.
What are the habits you have that make you feel stressed, worried and like you just don’t have enough time?
Here is how to make a difference with those habits vs. trying to change them overnight.
- Pick just one thing to start working on. Don’t try to tackle all your bad habits overnight.
- Give yourself time to work on this ONE habit.. it could take years. Yup, I just said years. But then if you get the new habit in, really IN, then you will never have to think about it again. So be patient and kind with yourself about it.
- Get really clear about the habit.. the mechanics of it, the automatic triggers, write it out so you can see how you operate.
- Love the habit. Don’t make it out to be this big evil thing. It is just how you operate and there is NOTHING wrong with how you operate. It has you gotten you this far, hasn’t it? Ok, maybe loving is a bit of a strong word, perhaps you could come to accept this habit. Stop beating yourself up about it! Fighting it and using it as ammunition for how rotten you are will not give you the space to go to work on turning this habit into something useful.
- Create what you want to be doing instead. Write it out, get really clear what life looks like when you do something else with your time.
- Then start bringing this new habit into your life. Start slow, take your time. Allow yourself to fail. Practice, practice, practice.
I know this sound easy and simple. I also know that it’s not. So give yourself a break and don’t use this to invalidate yourself, okay? When you successfully bring one new, super power habit into your life, then you know you can do it. And that knowledge will propel you forward.
Your assignment this week:
Pick ONE habit of yours that you want to change and get to work on it.
Leave a comment below:
What is one habit you really want to change?
Want to officially join in the course? You can sign up here: