One of the things I have learned from working with people over the years is that, fundamentally…
We are all the same.
- We all have fears.
- We all have dreams.
- We all doubt and question ourselves.
- We all have regrets about the past.
- We all have things about ourselves we want to change.
- We all wish for more than what we currently have.
- We all want to experience more love and fulfillment.
- We all wish we could “do more”.
- We all have made compromises.
- We all want to be happy.
- We all love our children.
- We all want to be liked and loved by others.
- We all suffer at times from insecurity.
- We all worry.
This, my friends, is human nature. And, I think many of us try too hard to change our ways. But, we can’t. Because we are all human beings and we all have human being junk to deal with.
Sometimes life is awesome.. we are happy, fulfilled, life is good.
Other times – not so much. We suffer, we worry, we hate what is happening.
And, usually when we are not feeling totally satisfied, we try to change that. We try to change ourselves, other people, our circumstance, something.
Have you ever noticed that the more you try to change something, the more it just stays the same?
In fact, the more attention you give it, the more frustrated, or annoyed, or sad you usually become. Ever obsessed or worried about something and made a mountain out of it?
That’s because all of this is just plain old human nature. The only way to get over it is to become friends with it.
If you can find a way to just let it be, life will start to feel a little bit easier. Don’t try to change it or fix it. Just let it be. Your human-ness. Accept it, even love and appreciate it. The more you can do this, the more freedom you will feel. The more joy. The more satisfaction.
Here is an example..
Ever had one of those days when your kids are just driving you CRAZY?! They are fighting and screaming and being little snots?
I have. Usually those days progressively get worse. I end up loosing my cool and yelling or saying something I don’t mean. The more frustrated and annoyed I get, the crazier my kids become. It’s nuts!
Well, when I notice how much I just want the whole situation to just change. How much I want them to start behaving and acting like good kids. I want myself to be more patient and not so irritated.
When I notice that, here is what I do:
I take a deep breath and instead of trying to change how my kids are acting, I stop everything and just start paying attention.
I bring my awareness to what is happening right now. They are being loud and crazy, okay.. wow-they kind of seem like they are having fun. They are fighting.. hmmm-my daughter is tired and my son could use some alone time. They are whiny.. yeah, I guess I could be spending too much time on the computer and not paying attention to them.
More often than not, when I stop and just start paying attention to what is happening right now (what are their needs, how are they doing?) vs. trying to get them to do something that will make me feel better ~ this amazing thing happens…
We all get aligned again. I feel nothing but love and they are getting their needs met so they start to feel happy. Which makes me calm down and feel so. much. better.
Has this ever happened to you?
The magic ingredient is that instead of trying to change the whole situation, you took a moment to accept it for what it is. Tired kids, not enough attention, etc. And when you stopped trying to get them to behave in a better way and just let them be however they are, then both you and they start to feel better.
You see, all the gobblygook that makes up human nature is just what it is. It is what makes us who we are. And the more you can just allow yourself to feel what you feel and be who you are, the more you will find yourself enjoying life more.
Stop trying to make yourself into a perfect person who doesn’t go through normal human stuff. Embrace it, enjoy it, celebrate it.
None of this stuff is going away any time soon.