Cultivating Passion in Your Life – Part 1 – Dealing With The Naysayers

If you are just now joining us, this past week we’ve been looking at living a passionate life.

First we talked about Passion, Purpose and Vision, then How finding your passion is not as hard as we make it out to be.

Today, let’s chat about Cultivating Passion

The word cultivate is usually used for gardening.  It’s about preparing your soil, creating an environment for growth.  And that is exactly what you need to do if you’re going to live a passionate life.

You have to create an environment that allows for passion to live and grow.

One of the biggest roadblocks to expressing and celebrating whatever it is you’re passionate about is nay-sayers.

photo credit

You know those people in your life that like to tell you how hard it’s going to be, what silly ideas you have, how you have to be practical and careful?  How it can’t be done?   Those people.

I know that when I am fired up about an idea, so freaking excited that I can’t settle down, I just want to talk about it.  Except that the person talking to could care less.

But, I am a talker, so I plow forward anyway, hoping that they will get excited.

The more I go on about my brilliant, exciting idea, the more they have to poo-poo my vision.  But, Lisa, “you can’t do that… you have to think about the kids.  How much will that cost?  That sounds great, in theory, but you have to be realistic.”    and on and on they go, telling me why it can’t be done.

And pretty much right away, I’m deflated.   Sound familiar?

It is really, really hard to share our enthusiasm into negativity.

What often happens is instead of creating more excitement and love for your idea, you move into convincing, defending, selling, trying to talk someone into something that they are just not interested in, at all.

There is absolutely no passion in that.  Zero. Ziltch.  Nada.

When you are in big time convincing mode, are you inspired?

No way!

Probably you are annoyed, frustrated, and maybe even a bit angry.  Personally, I have gotten into full on fights with people I really love because they just “don’t get it.”  Stuff like this can actually ruin relationships.

And your dreams.

Because if you are only surrounded by people that “don’t get it” – you never, ever get the opportunity to really share your  passion.  And worse?  You don’t get to be heard.

You don’t get to experience your dreams and your ideas, your inspiration and excitement, uplifted, celebrated and acknowledged as worth going after.

And, that sucks.

So, the first step in cultivating passion in your life is to find people that “get it” – people that will support you, cheer you on, encourage you and say, “yes, you can do this!”

Not everyone in your life is going to be like that, so you want to make sure you have some people who are.  To counter balance the people that want to talk you down.

I’ve heard advice to just get rid of the naysayers, to leave them behind as you move into new possibilities in your life.  Personally, I don’t agree with this advice.  Yes, if you have truly toxic relationships that eat at your soul and leave you feeling unsafe, my advice is 100% walk away.

But, there are people that really love you and only want what’s best for you.  They just aren’t big time dreamers, chasing after possibilities.   Living a passionate life is not their thing.  So they are not going to back you up as you go chasing after your dreams.  But they still matter and are important to you.

So, the best thing to do is just let them be.  Don’t try to change them.  Stop trying to convince them to live the way you live.  And stop trying to get their approval and support for your big ideas.

Instead, go find other people in your life to fill that role.

Give those people a big giant part in helping you achieve your dreams.  Engage with them often, share your ideas, let them share theirs.  Built up these relationships to you can stay afloat when those other people try to bring you down.  Let your community of big time dreamers be your life raft in a sea of “it can’t be done.”   And that, my friends, is the world out there.  It can’t be done is seen and heard everywhere you go.

The best defense?  Find and be a part of an amazing community of people who will cheer you on as you explore and pursue your dreams.

Having trouble finding this kind of community?  I have a solution for you!  :) The Visionary Mom Teams are designed to provide exactly this type of role in your life.    A team of women – of mothers – who get it.  Who want to live extraordinary lives and who want YOU to do the same.  Recently, a mom on one of the teams wrote this about her experience:

“I joined a visionary mom team in the last few months of my Ph.D.  I have a two year old son, and I was feeling exasperated about the amount of stress I was under, all the work I had to do, and the effects that this was having on my relationship with my son.  The problem was there was no one in my life who was really supporting me in my goals of finishing school and being a good mama.  The visionary mom team became a huge part of my support system.  I found the other women on my team so inspiring and I love hearing about their lives.  Even though we were working on totally different things, we also had a lot in common in our drive for self improvement and love of our kids.     I felt like I was really heard and that I was understood and accepted for who I am.”  ~Tatiana

I really do think that having this kind of community in our lives makes THE BIGGEST difference in us being able to do the things we love.

The next Visionary Mom Team starts on July 1st, and we have a few spots still available.  If you are needing/wanting this kind of support to help you fulfill your dreams, please come and play with us!

Details about the team are here.

And then, next up – Part 2 in cultivating your passion – easy steps to keep your dreams alive.

See you tomorrow!

 

Previous post:

Next post: