Mom + Work Balance

I have not been blogging.  I have been living and working on stuff behind the scenes.  I can’t believe summer is almost over and school is about to start up again.   Lame to say, but so true: Time flies when you’re having fun.  :)  So here is what I’ve been doing….

Summer Vacation with My Kids.

 

I’m about half way through my first ever Business Visionary Mom Team.  It’s AMAZING!    The moms on the team are so inspiring, their business ideas are bad-ass and they are just so cool, making their dreams happen.  It makes me so happy and fulfilled getting to be a part of their process.  I am revamping things a bit and will be offering a new session in about a month.  So, keep an eye out if you have an awesome business idea you’ve been wanting to get off the ground.

I am also changing things up here visually.  I am one of those people that likes to rearrange the furniture often, I admit.  I like to change things up.  So, I am at it again.  I think it’s all part of the process of having Visionary Mom be more in synch with who I really am and what I most want to offer the world.  Unveiling of the new site will be happening in the coming weeks.  I’m really excited about it!  The new vibe is more fun, vibrant and loud, which if you know me, is who I am.  :)

I have not been making much art.  :(  I really do thrive so much more when I have someone pushing me and I have a structure that challenges me to go beyond my comfort zone.  So, it will be nice when school starts up again and I’m back in the groove of being an art student.  :)  It feels like I’ve been back in school forever and have many more miles to go… BUT!  I just got  good news about some very old credits that I’m going to be able to use!  WOOT!

Earlier this year, I went on a dating mission and spent many months going on LOTS of dates.  LOTS.  My girlfriends and I joked (but it wasn’t really a joke) that I needed a spread sheet to keep track.  It was craziness!  But because of it, I’ve met a really awesome man, who is totally rocking my world!   What a ride..  I will have to share more about it at some point.  Many lessons learned.

And I guess that’s it!  I’m thinking about using this blog space to share more of my personal journey and experiences of chasing my dreams, building my business, growing into the woman and creating the life that I’ve always dreamed about.  Would that be interesting to you?   I just so want to encourage YOU to go live YOUR dreams, so maybe sharing my journey would inspire and motivate you?  I’ll experiment with it and see if you find it valuable, sound good?

I hope you are doing well.  That your life is making your smile and that you are making some big stuff happen!

Hugs, Lisa

 

 

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Do you dream about working for yourself?

I’m not going to lie, it’s not always easy.   It does take hard work and commitment and pushing through the fear and the doubt.  And, there can be alot of fear and doubt!

But, there is something so juicy and yummy about being your own boss.

Here are my favorite reasons why it’s so worth taking the plunge….

 

1.   I get to be home with my kids when they’re home. I am right here – listening to them play, learn and grow.  I get to be part of it.  Yes, they can interrupt and sometimes I don’t get all the stuff done that I want to, but the tradeoff for that is we get to be together, which is really important to me.

2.  I can work when I want to work. Sometimes I get up early and get rockin’ ~ sometimes I stay up late and work under the light of the moon.  That kind of flexibility makes doing things (like taking art classes at my community college) workable.

3.  I get to work on what inspires me! I am someone that doesn’t like to spend my time doing junk that doesn’t matter.   Because I work for myself, I get to pick what projects I work on and what type of work I want to do.  If something has lost it’s spark, I’m not stuck with it.   I’m constantly exploring new ideas, and what’s even better, I get to execute and make those ideas happen!

4.  How successful I am is entirely up to me. This can be terrifying, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling.  I know that the big wins are mine.  I can also own and take responsibility for the stuff that’s not working.  This gives me great sense of power and accomplishment – and pride!

5.  I get to seek out the people that I want to work with. I love that I have so much in common with the moms I work with.  Often it feels like I’m just hanging out with good friends and that makes work not feel like work!

6.  My kids get to see my dreams unfolding. They watch me work and know that dreams don’t just fall off trees – you have to work hard to make them happen.  But, when you do, you get to live life on your own terms, a life that is deeply rewarding and FUN!   As a mom, it’s important to me that I teach my kids these life lessons.  I love knowing that I am.

7.  I can work wherever I want. Outside, at the coffee shop, on the couch, in the mountains, at the beach!   My office moves with me and even though I’ve not (yet!) fully experienced this awesome perk, I LOVE knowing that it’s there and that I can take advantage whenever I want!

8.  Making a difference is one of my core values, it’s part of my big vision for life.  My business is an expression of that.  Because I’ve designed it that way. One of the biggest perks to working for yourself is that your business can be part of your big vision and you can go to sleep every night knowing that what you do matters and is 100% aligned with who you are and what your life is about.

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So what about you…..  why do you work for yourself, or why do you dream about it?

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You are a mom and have all the stuff to do that being a mom requires. You also have to make your home tidy and a happy place, and you probably also want it to be lovely and super welcoming. You may also work, or have your own business, or you dream of starting your own business. And what about being creative? Or your friends, traveling, working in your garden and all the other amazing stuff you hope to accomplish in this life?

How in the heck do you juggle it all and get it all done?

Truthfully, you probably won’t be able to.

Say what?   😐

It’s true. When you are about big stuff, living inspired, and following your dreams, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to do it all.

At any given point, you are probably dropping the ball with something.

The key is in how you look at it.

You can either beat yourself up, feel like crud and wish you could “just do things better.”

Or, you can deal with the chaos that sometimes comes with living a big life!

Accept that life will not always be perfect, you will not always have it all together in every single area of your life, and you will often drop the ball with things.

To really truly follow your dreams, you’ll probably need to prioritize and decide what things are really important and what things are fine to let go.

One of the biggest things is to let go of being perfect.

When you are truly orientated around your dreams, your passion and what you want your life to be about, things like having a perfectly neat home may not matter. Sure, you will want to tidy up and not let things get out of control, but spending hours every day making things just right is likely unnecessary.

Unless your thing is interior design and decorating and that is what you are truly passionate about. Then you probably will spend tons of time making your home just so, but you decide to let go of baking bread every week and making all your food from scratch.

You get the idea. Focus on what is truly important to you and let go of the stuff that, sure in an ideal world would be great to have perfect, but in this world, let go of the stuff that doesn’t really matter.

Giving yourself permission to just focus on your good stuff and let go of the rest – this will free you up to truly live your magical life.

Here’s a quick productivity tip:  Clean up your workspace.

I know, it sounds simple enough, but this is an important aspect of being productive, motivated and inspired to get to work.  And by work, I mean taking action on your dreams, being creative and doing that thing that totally inspires you.

This is what my desk looks like at the moment:

Kind of scary!

About once per week, I notice myself feeling unmotivated, sluggish, and totally not inspired to work.  Then, I realize that my desk is a mess!  This is where I work, but I just don’t want to hang out here when it looks like this.

Now, I know this about myself.  Messy desk = Lisa doesn’t feel like working.  Sitting here frustrates me and stops the flow of creativity. Big time!

And yet, about once per week… my desk becomes a big ol’ crazy mess!  And I wind up feeling tired and sluggish, with zero motivation.

No accident.

The space that you work in will either totally inspire you and motivate you, or it will bring you down and exhaust you.

For me, it’s a quick fix – just clean it up, put everything away, open the window to let in some fresh air, and voila!  I have a happy workspace again.  It’s not perfect or even my ideal desk/work space, but it allows me to get to work.

Chaotic messiness slows things down.

A clean open space allows for creativity.

Simple as that.

Take a look at where you do your work, whatever your inspired work may be.  Does it call you over, inviting you to get stuff done?  Or do you avoid that space because it’s chaotic and totally unwelcoming?

What can you do, this weekend, to make a space that will welcome you and inspire you?  What can you do to open up that flow of creativity?

 

There is so much pressure out there to be perfect.

To be the most unflawed mothers and women we can possibly be.

It’s crazy really.  I actually think it’s crippling our ability to be good moms.  We are so dang focused on getting everything just right in fear that if we don’t – we’ll mess up our kids.   And that hyper attention to being perfect has us fail to be in the moment and pay attention to what our kids really need.

I know I do this.  I stress about the food I am feeding them, what kind of school they should go to, should they even go to school?  Are the clothes they’re wearing made from natural materials?  What about their toys?  What’s in that sun tan lotion?  How do I discipline them so I don’t squash who they are?

MUST.GET.IT.ALL.CORRECT.

Everywhere we look we are bombarded with messages that we are not doing enough.

Even at playgroups.  We try to put on our happy faces and share about how amazing our kids are.  We don’t talk about our problems, the real struggles we are having behind the scenes.  Our flaws.

Our fears.

We just don’t talk about that stuff!  We want the people around us to see that we are doing a good job.  We want to feel like we aren’t messing things up.

Lately, I have been talking with so many moms, who’ve been opening up about the problems they have in their marriage.   I think that now that I am divorced, it’s “safe” to talk to me about these things.  But, before, I just never heard about what was really happening behind closed doors with my friends.  I know I never talked about the problems my ex and I were having.

There is so much shame and so much fear that people will discover we aren’t perfect, that we don’t have it all together, that things are broken.

It’s terrible!

When faced with this kind of shame and fear, most of us hide.  We stuff those problems down and work extra hard to get all that other stuff just right.

We get sucked into a cycle of trying to be super-mom, super-spouse, super-woman.

And the harder you try to get things “just right” the more you question yourself, the more you feel like you are failing, the more inadequate you feel.     The more you doubt yourself and feel like you are falling short, the more detached you become, the more hidden, the more inauthentic and so, totally not YOU!

This leads to trying to be someone we aren’t.   Trying to be that “super mom”  – which is not who you really are!

Being a great mom and a great person – involves one simple thing:

Being yourself.

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Fully sharing who you are, loving the way that you love, taking care of your home in a way that make you happy, spending time with your kids in an authentic way vs. how you think you “should” be doing things.  Doing things that work for YOU.

I know that’s not always easy.  But that’s what it is to be a Visionary Mom.

  • A Visionary Mom is someone who is totally in love with her kids, but doesn’t sacrifice her own identity in service of them.
  • A Visionary Mom is someone who has dreams and courageously chases those dreams.
  • A Visionary Mom stands for things that truly matter to her, even if it is not what everyone else thinks is the right path.
  • A Visionary Mom embraces her imperfections and is not afraid to talk about the down and dirty challenges she faces in her life.
  • A Visionary Mom does not strive to be perfect, instead she works hard to be herself.

It’s time to stop working so dang hard to get things right.

It’s time to get real – about who YOU are, what YOU stand for, and what matters to YOU.  If you are struggling with things, maybe those things are not what REALLY matter to you.

Here’s an example.  Say you obsess about feeding your kids perfectly.  You want them to be healthy and you worry about it.  But, you find yourself NOT doing the things you say you’re going to do.  Maybe, just maybe – eating a 100% clean perfect diet is not what is REALLY important to you.  Yes, we should feed our kids good food and, of course, we want them to be healthy.  But, trying to be perfect about it?  NOTHING is healthy about that!

For some people eating really well and having a hyper focus on food is their passion – it takes no effort, it is just what they love and implementing good eating habits and always serving “perfect” food is as easy as breathing for them. But, for you, you struggle.  So maybe it is time to cut yourself some slack and get real.  Yes, you will try to feed your kids healthy eats, but making yourself crazy about it is not really serving you – or your kids!

Look at this with anything in your life.  If it is hard and an effort and you spend an insane amount of time beating yourself up for “not getting it right” – maybe your attention is on being supermom vs. being a Visionary Mom.

A Visionary Mom works hard to live an inspired life, which has nothing to do with getting it right.

If eating perfectly inspires you – do it.  If it’s sucking the fun out of life, let it go.    Focus instead on nurturing your kids in other ways that work for you, that inspire you, and that leave you feeling awesome about who you are!

That is the biggest difference between being a Visionary Mom and a Super Mom.  “Super moms” make themselves crazy trying to be perfect.

Visionary Moms are true to themselves and let things go, in service of being happy and fulfilled.

 

I am working away this weekend… planning, writing, figuring out how to make all my fun ideas happen.   :)    This is so what I love to be doing!!!  And I am amazed at how true it is that when you find your passion and run with it, pretty much nothing feels like work!  It is all just doing what you love!

I’ve been wanting to share about what is brewing over here at Visionary Mom.   So, I decided that, instead of writing about it,  I would make a little video so I can really share my excitement and give you a sneak peek at all the good stuff coming your way.

Here is me babbling away on a Saturday afternoon.  :)  Enjoy!


(if you are reading this via email, click here to watch the video)

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1. You laugh a lot. You know that joy heals, is contagious and can turn a crummy day into one that’s worth remembering.

2. You plan for the future and learn from the past, all while paying attention to the present. Not only that, you breathe it in, savor it and appreciate the miracle of what is happening in your life right now, in this moment.

3. You listen to your heart and speak your truth, even when it’s scary or feels alarmingly vulnerable.

4. You know when to push yourself and how to dig in, but you also know when to stop and slow down when that’s what you need.

5. You embrace life’s ups and downs. The highs and the lows, knowing that you would not be who you are today without all of the experiences you’ve had.

6. You know that what you do with your life and even more importantly, how you live matters. It makes a difference in big and small ways.

7. You celebrate and use your strengths. You know what you are good at and aren’t afraid to use those skills to make things happen.

8. At the same time, you aren’t perfect and you know that. You are not embarrassed by your flaws and shortcomings. In fact, you embrace them, knowing that your imperfections are what make you you.

9. You openly and enthusiastically share your heart, your love and your passions. The people around you, especially your kids, know that they are loved.

10. You take actions. Bold, courageous action that has you fulfill your dreams. You don’t just talk the talk – you walk the walk right – toward whatever it is that inspires you.

11. You love your children so much and cherish your life as a mother, but you don’t use that as an excuse to neglect your dreams and needs. You put your own mask on first.

12. You know how awesome you are. You aren’t shy about sharing your ideas and dreams. You know that living a full, expressed, extraordinary life matters, so you work toward that. Your unique brilliance shines through in everything you do.

13. You know that all of this is a journey, a way to live, not somewhere to get to. So you have compassion for yourself when you “fail” but you also know that you haven’t really failed. You are living. You are alive and that’s the whole point. When you get off your path, you bring yourself back. When you move forward with speed and grace, you celebrate that. You love the journey you are on.

In what ways are YOU a Visionary Mom?