Mindset and Getting Unstuck

 

Principals of Being a Visionary Mom:

1. You DREAM BIG and you share those dreams with others.

2. You’ve got GUMPTION – you take bold action and courageously go for it.

3. You know that chasing your dreams is a gift to your kiddos, so you don’t let being a mom stop you from living an extraordinary life NOW.

4. You’re committed to making a difference and having the work you do and the life you live CONTRIBUTE to others.

5. You believe in art, beauty, love, forgiveness, kindness, courage and all the other juicy stuff that makes life worth LIVING.

6. You are not interested in being perfect, you’re only interested in being YOU – fully expressed and fully ALIVE!

7. You know that what you have to say MATTERS, so you speak and live OUT LOUD!

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Here’s how to get some serious AWESOME happening in your world….

Pick one of these for today and let it shape the day, move you forward and empower you to BE A VISIONARY MAMA!

These are some of the wisest words I’ve heard in a long time.

Yes, we all are afraid – sometimes completely TERRIFIED.

Fear is part of life, it let’s you know you are ALIVE.

It reminds you to keep FIGHTING.

If there is something you want to do.. you just have to do it.

Don’t let the fear stop you.

Make your dreams happen.

Begin.

Do it now.

xo, Lisa

Let’s talk about fear and VULNERABILITY, because I know it’s something that holds you back from going for those big dreams that really matter to you.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my sister.  She was thinking about joining the Visionary Mom Business Kickstart with me, something we’ve talked about her doing for almost a year.

Her story…

Before my baby sister became a mom, she was training to be a doula.  She had been around the birth community a lot, spent time at the births of many friends, and it’s what she was most passionate about.

And she is super good at doula-ing.  I know, because she was MY doula when my son was born.

She was the only sane person in the room – seriously.  Without her, I think I would have gotten lost in the la-la land I went into to cope with the pain.  She was a rock and her presence is what made that birth be powerful.   I’m not sure I would even be able to remember any of it except she kept me focused and paying attention.

A couple years later, she became pregnant with her own little dude and being on call 24-7 just wasn’t working.  She and her hubs live on a farm in Washington and her life quickly became about holding down the fort.

All along, though, she would talk about birthing stuff: loving it and missing it.  She would run into her midwife and they would “talk shop” and that passion would come up to the surface – her wanting to be a part of the powerful journey of women bringing babies into the world.

But, she had her son and busy farm life, and when could she really get back to it?

Is this sounding familiar?  Can you see where you might be putting stuff on hold, not sure how to fit in things that you deeply love (or used to love) with your busy, mama life?

We ALL feel that!  Trust me, you are not alone.

Then, along came baby #2 and the doula dream – that desire to make her own impact and be apart of something important got pushed further and further to the back burner.

So then, I start working with women to make their business dreams happen.  She and I would talk from time to time about HER dreams and I’d invite her to come play on a team.

But, she doesn’t.

Life goes on… the babies get taken care of, the chickens get fed, the food gets canned, the gardens get planted.

But there is still that doula dream simmering on the backburner!!    

Then, a few months ago, my gorgeous sister accidentally ends up at birth, being a stand in doula for a friend.  BOOM!  The passion and love for birthing and getting to be there and feeling like this is where she belongs is FIRED UP.

So, we talk about her joining a team again and one day, in my inbox is her registration.   WOAH??  My baby sister is doing it!!

But, here’s the thing….  She is still just as scared, just as unsure, just as worried about how to fit it in, how to make it happen, etc.

Even bigger than that, is this HUGE naked, vulnerable feeling of “what am I doing??”

Vulnerability is big time craziness.

Here we are with dreams and ideas and stuff we’re crazy passionate about.  But then we are scared shitless to go for it, to share it with the world, to put ourselves out there.

That makes absolutely no sense, but it’s what happens – a lot!   For all of us.

So, we hold back, we wait, we hesitate….

And the dream begs to come to the surface, it taunts us and reminds us of what we really love, trying to encourage us to go for it…

But, the fear holds us back..  again and again.

Until we just decide to freaking do it.  To find out, to see.

That’s what happened with my sister.  Today, on the phone, she said, “at least now I’ll know if this is what I’m supposed to do and I’ll stop wondering, that is worth it.”

Nonetheless, she feels scared and raw and OPEN.

Vulnerable.

Putting our dreams on the table and risking our heart is so unbelievably scary.

The Visionary Mom Business Kickstart officially gets underway today, but this past week, the team has been introducing themselves and getting to know each other.

My sister posted a bit of her story on our facebook group, really sharing herself, it was raw and REAL.  She immediately emailed me saying she thought it sounded stupid.

I immediately opened up facebook to read it and was moved to tears – by her honesty,  her truth.

The other team members were too.  And here she was, feeling like what she wrote was lame.

But, that worry – it’s what we all think and feel when we start to really go for it.  The fear and uncertainty, feeling like we sound lame, but also feeling that deep love for what we feel called to do at the same time.

No wonder we get stopped in our tracks!  It’s a wild bundle of emotions to feel all at once.

This may be you, too, wanting something, dreaming about it, but afraid.

I get it, I really do.  I’ve been there and I AM there, with my own current dreams and passions.

It’s what it is to be human and ALIVE.

My question to you is this:  what are you waiting for?

If you have a dream like my sister does, like I do, like most of the women I know do – that’s hanging out on the backburner, itching for attention, wanting to be realized, but you are scared (or unsure, or worried, or something)  – my question is this..

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Whatever is in your heart, whatever impact you want to make, whatever way you want to contribute YOUR gifts to the world, we are waiting for it!

It’s not lame!   It’s amazing.

YOU, precious mama are a gift.

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The Visionary Mom Business Kickstart is officially underway.  If your dream means having your own business… what are you waiting for?

This is THE most complete, actionable, deep, heartfelt, kick in the ass that you are ever going to get to stop HOLDING BACK and FREAKIN’ GO FOR IT!

Find out more here.
(We’ve already started, but you can still jump in until Thursday)

If you are working your cute tushie off, trying to build a VISIONARY business: a business that you absolutely LOVE, that makes a difference in the world and that makes MONEY for you and your family…. you likely have fear and worry about that money part of the equation.

Everything from being terrified if you are even going to MAKE MONEY to knowing you should be charging more, but you think it might turn potential customers away to avoiding asking to get paid all together.

Us women, who are also the most awesome caregivers to the cutest little people, tend to get weird about money.  We are just so dang used to giving, giving, giving that when it comes time to ASK for monetary compensation for our ideas, products and services, we turn to mush. 

Which is a BIG problem if you’re going to build a business that is freaking AWESOME!!

Part of the awesome means that you get PAID what you are worth.  And you are worth A LOT!

So that’s why I created a free class to address this craziness, so you can be BOLD and FEARLESS when it comes time to EARN.

We could all use a little kick in the pants, a little love, and some big time encouragement when it comes to thinking about money, earning and our worth.

Please join me TOMORROW for this free 50 minute class all about saying BUH-BUY to your fears and worries about money.

>> Register here  <<

And if you can’t join us live, or you see this late, no worries.. you can still sign up and I will send you the recording.  :)

 

 

 

Want a big, bad ass dose of courage?  Please join me for a FREE training call about Facing Your Fears this Thursday.  Details here. 

 

 

 

I’m not going to lie, life has been super challenging lately.

I have been so ridiculously busy, my kids have had some stuff going on with their dad that has required more mommy time, we have all been super sick, my school classes this semester are boring as hell, and I have this new man in my life who I want to spend time with as much as possible, but don’t get to see very often.

There have been many times in the past few months that I have wanted to throw in the towel, give up, quit some of the things I’m doing and go into survival mode. And there were some moments where that is exactly where I was, just surviving. And barely. More like frantically treading water, trying not to drown.

I don’t like it when life is like that. I’m a dreamer, a visionary, someone who drinks up possibility for breakfast every day. Survival and me don’t mix.

But sometimes, that’s what there is to do. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Even when it’s hard. Even when you don’t want to. Even when it feels like you might be headed in the wrong direction. Even when you aren’t sure if what you’re doing is working or if it’s what you are passionate about anymore.

In the pursuit of living a passionate life, sometimes life is going to kick your ass. You aren’t always going to be euphoric and on top of the world, full of big dreams and that feeling that nothing can stop you or get in your way.

Sometimes, life will challenge you and force you to confront your own path. And often when that happens, it ain’t pretty.

For me, there have been lots of tears, lots of guilt, lots and LOTS of worry. I’ve been concerned about my kids, worried about financial aid junk, scared that this new guy who I’m crazy about will run for the hills as he watches me battle life in a big messy way. (he hasn’t by the way and that’s how I know he’s a keeper!  😉 ) I’ve wondered if I should be going to school, if the future I’m chasing is worth it and feeling like so many things I’ve been working on are falling apart.

Yep, I go there. And I know sometimes you go there too.

But, here’s the cool part. Through it all, I have had all around me in the form of mentors, friends, plans, visual reminders and powerful structures that keep pulling me back to my BIG VISION. My why, my dreams, my passions.

Even in the face of some tough challenges, I have been reminded of who I am, what I believe in, and what I want for my life.

I’ve worked really hard to live a big, bold, passionate life and when that other life – the life where I suffer and fail and am unhappy – tries to lure me back to her painful embrace, my created life is there, ready to catch me when I fall and more that willing to lift me back up and pushing me toward my dreams.

Sometimes we have to go through junk to remind us of why we are here.

I actually think it helps to reinforce our deep desire to live life on our own terms, to be the most awesome we can be as we navigate the waters of life.

And so here I am, coming out of the funk, present to who I am and what I want to do with this one precious life.

For those times when life presses against you, when you start to question and wonder if you are doing the things you should be doing, remember this:

Your dreams matter.

And if you’re having a hard time getting back to them, start small:

  • Take a breath. Just one long, deep breath.
  • Look out the window, take a moment to pay attention to what’s happening out there.
  • Hug your babies.
  • Sip a cup of tea.
  • Go to bed early.
  • Ignore the dishes and watch that silly tv show.
  • Call a friend,
  • and ever so slowly… open your heart.

It’s okay to go slow sometimes. It’s okay to take a break from working hard on your dreams. It’s okay to just take baby steps each and every day.

It’s okay to fall behind and feel like you don’t have it all together.

Your dreams, they are still there, waiting for you. As soon as you are ready, they will be too. They aren’t going anywhere.

With the new year underway, I’m sure that many of you have set goals for yourself of things you want to do, experience and accomplish during 2012.

And with that, often comes the dreaded “but will I actually do those things?

I know that I can get super duper excited about something new , but I can also start to feel anxious, wonder if “this time” I’m really going to follow through.

Doubt and worry can creep in mighty fast, leaving me with the urge to scale down my goals, or WORSE!  -> abandon them all together.

Yeah, I admit it.  I do that.

When it comes time to perform, to take action and get started, the fear of failure, or the not not knowing where to begin can leave me walking away from whatever it was that was inspiring me.

Does this happen to you?

Or maybe you do get started, you do take some action, but the results don’t come right away, so you give up.

Or you have some days of being lazy and neglecting the stuff you said you’d do, so you tell yourself “it’s okay, I’m not sure that’s what I really wanted to do anyway.”

Or… you fill in the blank.

All of that is a problem of action.

Or, more accurately, a problem of NO ACTION.

And that can make us feel crummy.

So, then we start working on feeling better.  “Being okay.”  Accepting where we are at – right now.  Being at peace with how things are.  etc.

Except the thing is that we aren’t okay with the way things are.

We want to make stuff happen.

We want results.

We want to achieve great things that inspire us and leave us feeling life we are, in fact, living life the way we want to be living it.

So, how do we overcome the “no action” problem?

 

Here are the things that work for me, that make a difference and that help me to get up off my butt and do stuff that matters:

 

1.  Know that you will likely fail.

It’s true.  You will.  Anything worth doing, that’s big and inspiring and courageous.. well.. life will throw up road blocks.

You will get stuck.  Things won’t go to plan.  It’s just what happens.

Don’t be afraid to fail, because you probably will.  Jump on in and get started anyway.  And when you do fail, learn from it and keep going.

 

2.  Know what there is to do.

What’s the time frame for accomplishing your goals?  How are you going to get things done?  What are the steps along the way that need to happen to get you to the final outcome?

You have to have a plan. 

It doesn’t need to be super detailed and specific unless that helps you.  But, it does have to be clear.

Break down the big picture into bite sized chunks so you know what there is next to do.

Will the plan unfold exacty as you said it would?  Probably not.  (see #1).  But having a path to venture down will lead you toward your goals much more effectively than just wandering aimlessly.

 

3.  Know when you’re going to work.  (and then work)

If your dream is to write a novel, do you have time each week to work?

Whatever it is you want to make happen requires that you work on it.

Make sure you have time set aside to do that.  Create a schedule for yourself and then stick with it.

Yes, sure, sometimes the kids will get sick or there will be a bonifide emergency that you’ll have to take a “sick day” for.  But otherwise, give yourself specific times to work and then show up for work during those times.

 

4.  Keep moving forward.

Baby steps.  A little goes a long way.  You don’t have to get to the end over night. 

BUT!  When you keep moving forward, even just doing a small chunk, it keeps you in the game.

If you are overwhelmed and can’t see how you will ever make time to start something new, just do one small thing.

And then another, and then another.  Keep moving forward.  All those small chunks add up over time. 

 

5.  Be flexible.

The universe works in mysterious ways.   What you initially set out to do may not be what you end up with. 

If you are really clear on your why, your vision, the Big Picture and you keep working on manifesting that in the world, new opportunities and paths will likely open up.  Don’t close yourself up to those.

You may start out wanting to learn photography and end up a world famous painter. :)  You never know.

Don’t get stuck thinking that what’s going to inspire you and make you happy is the only thing.

 

6.  Start today.

Life is here, happening right now. 

If you want to start your own business, start it today.  Sure you might not be 100% successful and able to live off that business right away, but it’s never going to happen if you don’t begin.

So stop waiting.  Jump on in and go for it.  See what happens.  You might surprise yourself.

 

7.  Be unreasonable.

Don’t give yourself excuses.  Push yourself.

I know that it’s hard to do, but the more you push, the more you challenge, the more you let go of all your reasons why today is not the day, the easier it gets to do that over and over again.

Practice this and it will become a habit.

 

8.  Get away from distractions.

If you can’t write your grand novel while the kids are climbing all over you, escape to a coffee shop for a few hours.

If the dishes keep calling your name, go lock yourself in the guestroom.

If you find your attention being pulled to other stuff, find a way to get away from the temptation so you can get your work done.

I often leave my house to work on stuff.  I camp out in my favorite coffee shop, put on my headphones and tackle whatever it is that needs to be done for the day.  I can get so much more work done this way.  It works for me.

Find your “safe space” with the fewest distractions and go there.

 

9.  Be organized with your workstuffs.

If you are a painter and it takes you an hour to set up before you can get started, you’re not going to be motivated to get going.

Have your supplies/materials at the ready. 

Keep your work plans easy to get to, so when you sit down to work, you can get started right away – knowing your doing the right stuff.

I cannot stress this enough:  if your work is not sitting there ready for you to dive in, it will be so much harder to get started.  But, if your workstuff is ready to go, then you can get in the groove quick and easy.

 

10.  Have a clear vision.

What are you stressing about all this productivity stuff for anyway?

To make some money?  Buggers to that!  That is not a sufficient reason for working your butt off.

To feel better about yourself?  Yeah, that won’t motivate you to keep going.

Know WHY you are doing what you do. 

Have a reason that inspires you, that leaves you saying YES to life, that wakes you up and gives you purpose.

Having that kind of vision behind your goals and dreams will motivate you so much more than trying to fix or change something in your life.

 

11.  Be grateful.

Celebrate your life, your accomplishments and who you are. 

Do it often.

And by often, I mean many times throughout the day.  The more you can stop and say yes to all that is working in your life, the more motivated you will be to work on the stuff that matters.

Gratitude keeps us in the presence of our own awesomeness and that’s a key ingredient to making big stuff happen.

 

12.  Finish one small thing.

I find that when I’m crazy not in the mood to get to work on something, whether it’s cleaning the house, doing my schoolwork, working on my business or cooking dinner…  if I can complete one small thing, it gets the ball rolling. 

Then I do another small thing, and another,  and before you know it, I’m in full on getting stuff done mode.

Finishing something, no matter how small, feels good and makes us want to finish more.

So if the big stuff feels way too big, start with one small thing.

 

13.  Give up trying to be perfect.

Because none of us are.

Well, we are perfectly US!  But we don’t usually give ourselves credit for that.

Instead of trying to be this perfect version of yourself that exists only in the fantasies of your own mind, why not just be you?

And, I’m all for working toward being the best you possible.  But the bar for that will always be raised.  You won’t ever “arrive” and be perfect.

Focus on working hard, trying your best, giving it your all. 

In the end, that’s all any of us can do.

 

14.  Work on your dreams inside of a community.

Get support, community, cheerleaders, people that encourage you.

Have people who want to see you succeed around you. 

Talk to them about your ideas.  Share your vision.  Let them lift you up when you get stuck or don’t feel like it anymore.  Even better?  Have a group of people that will not only support and encourage you, but will hold you to account and keep you focused.

 

15.  Don’t give up

Every moment is a choice.  Every day is a chance to make something awesome happen.

Your dreams are right here, waiting for you to start working on them.

You always have a choice about whether or not you are going to get started on your dreams, or if you are going to give them up.

Your dreams matter!  You making them happen is MAGNIFICENT!!  Don’t give up.