.... by Lisa Work-Delzer on July 30th
This is part of our new series ~ Share YOUR Truth. Giving all of you a chance to share your truth, celebrate it, embrace it and proudly be who you really are…
The journey to motherhood has stripped me bare, left me in my darkest… and given me the chance to find light, to let go, and to really look into the eyes of who stares back at me from the mirror.
The infertility journey. While not alone, still a path that feels so…very much alone. Teeth baring, ready for the fights- with doctors, with self…
My body was my source of distrust and disgust. An already low self-image, torn apart and ballooning in front of my critical eyes. My body was my source of hatred. Not only did I find it absolutely appalling, but now it was failing me, failing my dreams, failing my future… my young body, a barren waste land.
so harsh, but I had worse things to say about it. I was the biggest bully to the weakest woman, myself.
Part of my self-therapy during my fertility journey was finding ways to accept my body, accept where I was on the journey, accept who I was- and any emotions that came with it. I began taking nude and semi-nude self portraits of myself. Sometimes the fog would lift from my vision and I’d see this curvy, beautiful goddess… but if I stared too long- the image warped.
It was a start.
Sometimes I wrote beautiful things about that body, and other times I wrote ugly things about it.
–
That positive test…
I prepared myself for the worst, prepared myself to fight, prepared myself that this too would be a struggle. That I was not meant for things to be handed easily.
And then this incredible love harvested… already, my baby my most beautiful creation… the thought that my baby- who would one day be a person with their own thoughts and opinions might not see the beauty and love in them- that I already have, killed me… and then I realised that that must be the same way my mom sees me…
It hurts so much to think of the person you most love, who you find the most beautiful- to not see that beauty in themselves… to not realise how wonderful they are, inside and out.
My body blossoms. It isn’t perfect… but it’s so perfect. It’s beautiful. My body shifts and gives way… my hips spread, my thighs rub, my body carries life*. My body carries the love shared with my husband.
How could I not begin to love myself then too?
I give myself permission to love this body. this body before pregnancy, during, and after.
I think that sometimes, our society of women feel like we aren’t allowed to love who we are, who we see in the mirror… constantly surrounded by self-criticism. Self- doubt.
And I’m tired of wasting my time feeling anything but love for myself.
Sure, I have things about my body that I’d love to change… like any woman.
But I’m choosing to not let those things hold me back from loving this body… from loving myself.
My truth is; I love my imperfect… perfectly perfect body.
My truth is; I give myself permission to love myself as much as I love others.
My truth is; I’ve never been happier since giving up that ugly worry and thought about my image in the mirror…
My truth: I love myself. (why does that feel like such a confession?)
*I don’t want anyone going through their own (in)fertility journey to feel like they have to get pregnant to be able to heal themselves. The entire journey has been a major healing process, finding my strength, learning to love myself. Make the vow right now to give yourself permission… regardless of how your baby finds you.
About Erin, in her own words:
i am inspired to inspire.
nothing pleases me more than knowing that i have inspired someone to pick up and do what it is that they love, but forgot how to enjoy it…
to try something new, to explore new worlds.
i consider myself an artist, but i am merely the vessel – a Creative flows through me when and how she wishes… i am at her beck.
i aspire to embrace my journey. live in the moment and love with all of my heart.
–
i was raised in the united states and found my soulmate in ireland. he pushed me to begin with the lens and is my greatest advocate and teacher. he is my best friend, and without him i’d still be searching for myself.
together, we live among my mess of paint and brushes in a little town in Co. Galway, Ireland.
You can find more of Erin on her blog ~ Starving Artist Ink and lovely etsy shop ~ edarcydesign.etsy.com.
Want to share your truth here on Visionary Mom? We would SO LOVE to hear from you. Details can be found here.
.... by Lisa Work-Delzer on July 27th
Week Five of the FREE e-course: “8 Weeks To Feeling Like You Have More Time”
You can join in anytime ~
Week One ~ Setting Your Intentions and Recommendations to Get the Most Out of the Course
Week Two ~ Freeing Up Your Mind ~ The Big Brain Dump and Tracking Your Time
Week Three ~ What is Your Attention on and Perceptions
Week Four ~ Find 2 Hours For Your Dreams
When was the last time you asked for help?
One of the problems I hear many mamas talk about is the guilt they feel asking for help so they can go do something that feeds their soul. As if doing something for ourselves were a crime.
Well, it’s not. What’s criminal is NOT taking time for yourself.
Yes, there is something noble and respectful about being there for our babies 24/7. Always here to provide what they need. But, if you are tapped out, ignoring your own dreams, and feeling guilty for wanting something that belongs to only you ~ well, how can that be a good thing for our little ones?
I was reading a book recently that cited a study that I found interesting. The study asked a large group of children what they wanted more from their parents. Most of the parents thought what the children would say is more time with mommy and daddy. But, nope. That’s not what the children said.
They said they want to see mom (or dad) more happy and less stressed out.
More time is not what they wished for. YOU being happy is what they want.
So, stop feeling guilty for wanting that also!! All the stuff about needing to be there 24/7 for them is stuff that WE made up. It is not the truth. Maybe if you are a drug addict, always neglecting your children, then, YES ~ what your kids will want and need is more of you.
But, if you are reading this blog, that isn’t you. YOU are a pretty dang amazing mama who is there for your children, giving them oh so much love. They will be fine if you sneak off to work on your own thing. Really, they will. In fact, I think they will be more than fine!!
I agree with this study. I think more than anything, what our kids need from us is for us to be happy. So, let’s start making that happen, shall we?
This week.. it’s time to tackle the time bending strategy of asking for help.
Some ideas to get you started:
- Ask your neighbor or a friend to watch the kids during the day so you can go take that class you’ve been wanting to take.
- Ask your mate for Saturday mornings to be just for you. They can get the kids up, fed, dressed, and entertained until you join them for lunch.
- Ask your boss to use the empty office at work as a studio space that you can use at lunch time.
- Ask the kid down the block to help you clear out the garage so you can make some room to work.
- Ask your kids to entertain themselves so you can write in quiet for a little bit.
- Ask your mom to fly in to watch the kids so you can go to that retreat.
- Ask a friend to help you make that website you need, but have no idea how to do.
- Ask someone you admire to mentor you so you can learn and grow.
- Ask yourself for permission to just do it. (this one can sometimes be the hardest)
- Ask a buddy to check in with you and hold you to account, to make sure you take this time each week.
- Ask everyone you know for referrals and to help you spread the word about what you are working on.
When was the last time you asked for help? The kind of help that actually helps you to fulfill your dreams? That is your assignment for this week. Everyday ask someone to help you with something that will move your dreams forward. Every day.
Why do you think you have to do this all alone?
Want to “officially” join in the course? You can sign up here:
.... by Lisa Work-Delzer on July 26th
A weekly feature, where I double dog dare you to do something bold, something creative, something courageous.
So that you can more fully become who you really are…
Reach Out to Someone You Greatly Admire
{Hello Also I Love You by thebigharumph on etsy}
We all have people we look up to, respect, and think to be amazing. Especially in today’s world of internet crushes, long distance connections, inspiring blogs, etc.
So often we can get caught up in comparing ourselves to them, wishing we could be more like them, wanting a little piece of their world.
Maybe there’s someone at your office or who frequents the coffee shop that you spend time in ~ you’ve watched them and know they have something special going on.
Whoever that person is that you admire, find a way this week to reach out to them. Connect with them, know them in a real way.
The key here is “in a real way.” Don’t just like their status on facebook, send them an email sharing who you are, what you love about them, ask them a question, offer to help them with something they are working on. Make a real connection. If you know their phone number, call them up, just to say hi. Introduce yourself. Share your dreams and visions with them.
Trust me, these people will love the gesture. They will appreciate YOU for taking the time and reaching out. They, too, love connections and they like to know that what they are doing in the world is making a difference.
Who do you admire and think is amazing?
.... by Lisa Work-Delzer on July 23rd
This is part of our new series ~ Share YOUR Truth. Giving all of you a chance to share your truth, celebrate it, embrace it and proudly be who you really are…
today’s truth is that i am fluid.
i am like the ocean. i have very few boundaries. unconfined and free flowing. you can put me into a pretty container and take me home but my power, my essence, my happy place is in the deep, expansive ocean. how do you capture the magic of the ocean in a to go cup? you don’t! i live my life in tidal cycles… from weak to strong, strong to weak, gentle to bold, bold to gentle. i am like the waves caressing the shores of exotic places inhabited by delicious people… sharing and exploring, exploring and sharing, in and out… out and in…
i go out to the depths of the ocean to be refreshed. the deep blue sea… a place for which there are no words for… a place beyond light… beyond noise… just beyond…. to be rocked and calmed, strengthened, rested so i can gather myself… and then, in a bit, go out again in a wave of full force.
as a mother, i have perfected the art if fluidity. i have 2 incredible boys that are going on 2 and 4. i have a full time job, a packed schedule and limited resources for outside assistance. i am motion! i think my family can best be described as bohemian. not in the new age, hippy way but in the get it in when you can fit in it, breakfast for dinner, do what makes you happy and let others do the same, kind of way. i believe in being kind, spreading joy and loving without boundaries… being in the moment, thinking outside the box and appreciating the little things… my boys bring me back to this when i loose my way. they are my truth, my deep blue sea! truthfully… oxo
About Jodi in her own words:
i am a mother, a lover and a bookstore manager. i live in the suburbs of atlanta, in a house that looks like every house and drive a mini van that looks like every mini van. but if you squint your eyes and look a little closer you’ll see that the things that make me happy are: the smell of rain, fresh lavender and tomato plants. the feeling of sand under my feet and the weightlessness of water. funky boots, flowing dresses and pants that fit just right. black coffee, candles and clementines. looking at people, really looking at them… in their eyes, their souls and feeling their truth. smiles and kisses and little bum pinches. snapping green beans. strong woman and gentle men. laughing until i cry. chipmunks & hedgehogs. sea dragons, fireflies and bunnies. the smell of sunscreen and sweat and fun filled summer days on my boys. naps, clean sheets and silence. autumn- every little thing about it. olives, avocados and cheese. passion, curiosity and inspiration. kindness, loyalty and love. possibilities and joyful girls.
 and that i’m radically imperfect: i sleep with the tv on to avoid what my friend siggi calls “monkey mind” or what i call “the list”. it depends on the time of the month exactly what list it is. my to do list, or to be list or to see list… but always a list. i am addicted to crushed ice. i am stubborn and sensitive. i am a strong starter and a slow finisher, in other words my follow through pretty much sucks. i feed my children whatever makes them happy. i unfairly place expectations on people. i am uncomfortable in crowded places. i worry that i’ll never find my true calling. sometimes i just want to be alone, not that happens much anymore but i still desire it. my house is decorated with laundry, trains and other unmentionable things.
i am a poster girl with no poster,
i am 32 flavors and then some…
oxo
jodi
Jodi can be found at wabi sabi wishes
Want to share your own truth here on Visionary Mom?
You can, and we would love to hear what you have to say. Click here for more details.
The truth is beautiful.
.... by Lisa Work-Delzer on July 21st
Week Four of the Free e-Course: “8 Weeks to Feeling Like You Have More Time”
You can jump into the course at any time ~
Week One ~ Setting Your Intentions and Recommendations to Get the Most Out of the Course
Week Two ~ Freeing Up Your Mind ~ The Big Brain Dump and Tracking Your Time
Week Three ~ What is Your Attention on and Perceptions
Week Five ~ When Was The Last Time You Asked For Help?
Find 2 Hours For Your Dreams
So at this point, you should have a bit of a sense that the trick to feeling like you have more time is shifting your perception to time. And this, I know, is easier said than done. So this week, we are going to put it to the test.
Your assignment this week is to find 2 hours just for you. 2 hours that you will use toward fulfilling on your dreams. 2 uninterrupted hours of you painting, or writing, or taking pictures, or meditating, or doing whatever would have you working toward your dreams. 2 hours without the kids, the spouse, the laundry, the bills, or your never ending to-do list.
Yup, 2 hours just for you. Not to just wander around and shop, or go to the movies, or do something else that is just “doing nothing”. These 2 hours are for you to get on the “making your dreams happen ship” and see where it sets sail.
Oh, and these 2 hours are not to be had at midnight or before the crack of dawn, they are going to happen right in the rhythm of your normal day to day life.
You may have to hire a babysitter, or ask a friend a favor, or turn off the TV, or (gasp!) ignore the dishes, or get off the phone, or give up something else that is just wasting your time. Not that whatever you would be doing wouldn’t be fun, or even nourishing on some level. But, you working on and fulfilling your dreams is 100 times more important and this week you are going to prove that to yourself.
You might find yourself battling those inner voices telling you that you don’t have anything worth while to work on, or that it’s not fair for you to take this time away from your kids, or that your idea is stupid, or that maybe it really is better to wait to get started on this until the kids are older. Whatever you are telling yourself about why you can’t take these 2 hours is the exact thing you need to do battle with to fulfill on your dreams. So get in there and battle if you need to ~ you and your dreams are worth it!
A few ideas to make sure your 2 hours are well spent:
- Prepare your workspace ahead of time so you can get right to work. You don’t want to spend your 2 hours organizing your supplies and setting up your work station. You want to be able to sit down and get right to work.
- Create an intention for what you want to accomplish in your 2 hours. With an intention, you will be focused and will be way more productive vs. just sitting down and “seeing what happens”. An intention my be something like, “I am going to walk around the city for 2 hours seeking our beauty to capture on film.” Or “I am going to sit down for 2 hours and write until I have written 2000 words.” Focus your efforts.
- Make sure you schedule this time with no kids around. They will find ways to interrupt and you will find yourself pulled to be there for them. Set yourself up to win, by making sure no one can find you while you are working.
Ok, lovely mamas, that’s it. Go find yourself 2 hours, push through the excuses and get working on your dreams! Find the time, no matter what, and see what happens when you do.
What are you going to spend your 2 hours working on?
Want to “officially” join into the course? You can sign up here:
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